


How to Fall

by Winchester17



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Castiel is the weird one in town, Coming Out, Dean and Cas fall in love, Eleanor and Park AU, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Homophobic Language, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Slow Burn, first comes the angsts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2017-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-29 13:18:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 33,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6376360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester17/pseuds/Winchester17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel...wears a trench coat that’s too big and a suit that makes him look like he’s going to church rather than school. Wrong clothes, wrong personality, so alien to everyone in this little town.<br/>Dean...his father’s son, wears leather jackets and plaid and blares Led Zeppelin a little too loud. Right clothes, right personality, a smile that would make anyone want to follow him everywhere.<br/>These two meet in the most unexpected place: a school bus. Here, they form a relationship that will change them and maybe everyone else for the better. </p><p>Set in Sioux Falls during one school year, this is the story of two star-crossed, seventeen year olds,Dean and Castiel. This is a story of love..and heartbreak..and more love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_**Dean** _

AC/DC was not loud enough to drown out the demons on this bus. He tried turning his music up louder but he could still hear them, talking louder than necessary. Just five more months before he could drive his dad’s impala.  
“Hey, Dean-O!”, Gabriel sang out, turned towards Dean on the seat in front of him. He was sucking on a lollipop.  
He groaned and pointly looked out of the window.  
A wet lollipop stick hit the side of his cheek. “Dean-O!!”  
He pulled out his headphones and turned to face the idiot grinning down at him. “What?”  
“Just wanted to know if i could copy the homework from Calc class. Come on. I know you did it, you secret nerd.”  
Dean rolled his eyes and made a move to put his headphones back on. Gabriel poked him with his lollipop. “Dean-O. Dean-O. I promise I won't bother you if you do.”  
Dean gave him the finger.  
Gabriel smirked. “Maybe next time, pretty boy.”  
Dean noticed the new boy on the bus the same time everyone else did. It was hard not to. He had dark unruly hair that looked like it hasn't been combed in years. And a trenchcoat over a suit. Who wore a suit to school?  
He stood in front of the bus, next to the first available seat.  
Kevin Tran sat there. He was a sophomore and the only asian in this school. No one bothered him. He had the ability of invisibility which Dean wished he had. He placed his bag next to him and continued to read his book. Harry Potter or some history book, I bet.  
He made his way throughout the lane. He had startling blue eyes and Dean found that he couldn't not look at him.  
“Hey kid! sit down!”, the bus driver yelled as he jerked to a drive.  
The new boy gripped someone’s shoulder blindly as the bus jerked and that turned out to be a bad,bad decision. Dean cringed.  
Crowley shoved the boy into Mary Gallagher’s seat. “Watch where you’re goin’ church boy?”  
The new boy quickly hopped off Mary’s lap. “Sorry.” His head was down and Dean thought that he gave Sammy’s puppy dog eyes a run for his money.  
It was bad enough that he wore a suit to school but now he was pissing off the school hellhounds. Dean felt sorry for the kid.  
The bus stopped. A couple more kids filed into the bus and pushed past him and sat in their seats. Everyone on this bus already claimed their seats since the first day of school. People like Dean were lucky to have a seat of their own and that was the thing. No one was going to give up having their own seat. Not even Dean. This was not how high school worked.  
“Sit down!”, the bus driver yelled.  
The new boy flinched and went deeper into the bus, towards the back. Son of a bitch. Stop, he thought. Turn around. He could see Alistair and Michael getting ready to torture the poor boy.  
He spotted an empty seat and Dean saw the relief flood on his face. He quickly moved towards it.  
“Hey Church Boy” Alistair called out.  
He ignored him and kept moving towards the bus. Alistair and his goons howled with laughter. God. He felt second hand embarrassment for the kid.  
Alistair shoved one of his goons and pointed towards the seat the new kid had his eyes on. The goon, Mark, nodded. He shoved past the new boy and plumped down on the seat. “Sorry, fairy. This one’s taken.”  
“I have to sit somewhere.” The new boy’s voice was surprisingly deep and gravely. It’s like he skipped puberty altogether. A grown man’s voice with a teenager’s body. “I don’t understand why you moved from your seat and sat here when you already had one. Please, let me sit here.”  
His voice was level and calm and so matter of fact.  
This kid was brave.  
Mark laughed. “Not my problem. Sit somewhere else.”  
The bus lurched again and the bus driver yelled for the new kid to sit down again. He grabbed the seat behind him to keep from falling. And his puppy dog eyes came back. He tried to turn towards the window but he couldn't look away. Shit.  
Dean scooted towards the window.  
“Sit here, man.” The words came out harshly. The boy tilted his head, trying to decided if he was being tricked or not. Jesus. That frickin head tilt made him look even more puppyish. “Son of a bitch. Just sit down.”  
He sat down on the corner of the seat. Dean could've sworn he heard the boy say ‘thank you’. He didn't say anything back and turned towards the window, seeing Gabriel’s knowing smirk out of the corner of his eye. He turned his music up louder.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Dean**_  
“I hate the bus”, Dean sighs, plopping down in front of Charlie.  
“Too bad you can’t drive” Charlie grins. They were sitting in the lunchroom which Dean hated. It was loud like the bus and full of all the people he hated just like the bus. “Any reason you’re complaining now?”  
“No.”  
He sulks over his burger. It was a poor excuse for one. The beef patty was floppy and thin, and he wasn’t sure that it was real burger meat at all. And it didn't have all the fixings like lettuce, onions, cheese, or tomatoes. Just a floppy patty between a whole grain bun. Whole grain. At least it was a burger. He couldn't wait to get to Ellen’s roadhouse to get a real burger with real buns and cheese and extra onions. Maybe a pie to go. He ripped a ketchup packet open with his teeth and slathered it on the sad excuse for a patty.  
“Dean?”  
“Can I get a ride with you today?” He focuses on his burger as he takes a bite.  
“Sure. If you want to stay until my Harry Potter club is over which ends at six.”  
He sighs and takes another bite of his burger. “Our Dean-O has a heart of gold”, Gabriel says with a glint that could only mean trouble. He plops down in front of Dean with only a slice of red velvet cake on his tray and chocolate milk. He glares in return. Dean doesn't think he’s ever seen Gabriel eat anything that wasn’t sweet.  
Charlie raises an eyebrow at him from across the table. “Oh yeah?”  
Gabriel leans on charlie’s side dramatically, smirking at Dean. “He gave up his single seat for the short dude in the trench coat with piercing blue eyes that Dean could drown in.” He says with a mouth full of red velvet. It’s disgusting, he looks like he’s bleeding out of the mouth. Gabriel leans on charlie’s side dramatically, smirking at Dean.  
Dean wishes he could fall into a hole.  
Charlie perks up. “Oh! The new kid!” She seems to put two and two together and she gasps. “Is that why you hate the bus now? That’s mean, Dean.”  
“Yeah, Dean.” Gabriel smirks at Dean, mocking. He turns to Charlie. “He stared at Dean for the whole ride.”  
Dean nearly chokes on his burger. “Stop exaggerating.” Maybe the new kid did stare at him but not for the whole twenty minutes it takes to get to school.  
Charlie smirks. “Aw. Blue eyes has crush on you.”  
He feels his face heat up. “No. Stop talking like now.”  
“And there he is” Gabriel sings out.  
Dean resists looking behind him and rolls his eyes. He’s not going to take Gabriel’s bait and besides, it was only one time. He doubts the new kid will sit with him again. He prays that he doesn't . He feels a strange feeling in his gut when he thinks this. Shame. He realizes it's shame. His mom would kill him for feeling bad for doing one nice thing.  
“He’s smart and stares at you.” Gabriel smirks at Dean. “Seems like a great catch.”  
He turns and looks at the new boy. He sees him sitting alone, reading a thick book. His trench coat pools around him, drowning him. Their eyes meet and Dean looks away quickly.  
Jesus.  
+++  
_**Castiel**_  
 Castiel glares straight ahead as he walks into the lunchroom.  
He hates that it's mandatory for every student to eat lunch in the cafeteria. He would’ve preferred to hide in the library instead of going into the belly of the beast. He had not expected his peers to be so hateful. He felt like he was meat being thrown to a pack of wolves.  
He spots an empty table by the door, near the window and, unfortunately, by the trash. He can feel people looking at him. But no one approaches him as he sits at the table, careful not to place his book on the wet spots on the table. It’s a relief. People have been staring at him all day and staring lead to spiteful laughter and spiteful laughter lead to remarks about his attire or names like “Church Boy” or “Fairy”. And when he said his name in front of his classes, well it didn't turn out well. Maybe they’re too occupied with their friends to pay him any mind.  
He tries to lose himself in the words of his new book but he spends too much time on one paragraph. He’s alright with sitting alone. He’s never had that many friends and he’s grown used to the quiet. He can't stop thinking about how he is going to survive the ride home. He wishes he could call Anna or Balthazar to pick him up but they’re no longer here. He has no idea where they disappeared. The last time he saw them was in the rear view mirror as he drove towards his new life after the death of their mother. He hasn't even gotten a phone call or a letter.  
Zachariah took him in. Anna and Balth begged him to stay with them. They had just graduated and were going away to college. He couldn't let them put their life on hold to look after him. Or maybe he was afraid to rebel against his uncle. He doesn't know anymore.  
He glances around the lunchroom and sees everyone laughing with their friends and everyone having a table to belong to. He spots the sandy hair of the boy who let him sit next to him on the bus. He sits at a table with the short boy with a lollipop in his mouth that sits in the seat in front of the boy and a girl with red hair and a plaid shirt.The boy looks back at him and his eyes are a vibrant green even from across the room. The boy looks away quickly and ducks his head.  
He glances down at his book and sighs.  
He wishes Anna and Balthazar were here.  
+++  
_**Dean**_  
 The boy sits next to Dean on the bus again that afternoon. But he doesn't say a word, just opens his thick book and seems to disappear. But Dean can’t relax. His shoulders have a stiff set to them and he can feel Gabriel smirking down on him. He stares towards the windows, earbuds in and tries not to notice the awkward air between them. Tries to forget the boy is there at all.  
And best of all, he’s in Dean’s Calculus class.  
Gabriel spotted his dark head of hair, sitting in the front of the class, nose in a book. It felt like the new boy was here to haunt him. He wanted to run out of the class. Instead, he took his usual seat in the back and actually paid attention to his teacher, Mr.Singer. He kind of had to. Bobby knew him and there would be hell to pay if he got anything less than a B. This was the only class he actually tried in, not to mention he liked math.  
Throughout the class, he would glance at the boy. He never lifted his head from his book. Kid had balls. He was in the front row, not paying any attention to the lesson but Bobby never paid attention or didn't seem to care. He didn't even make the boy introduce himself in front of the class.  
Dean seriously started to wonder if this kid had the powers of invisibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter! Thanks so much for reading this! This chapter does contain homophobic language.

**_Dean_ **

 

“Castiel”,Charlie slams her books on his desk in English class, her eyes gleaming. 

 Dean just stares at her, knowing she’ll explain and get to the point. 

 “Your bus seat buddy.”

  He rolls his eyes. “Weird name.”

  And it is. 

  Castiel. 

  +++

  In Physics Class, he learns that Castiel is the town’s pastor Zachariah’s nephew.

  Maybe that’s why he wears suits so often.

 +++

 Castiel. Castiel. Castiel. 

**_Castiel_ **

 

 Castiel still isn’t used to coming home to an empty house. 

 When his mom was still alive, he would come home to the smell of dinner being cooked. Dinner would usually be at six and they would eat at the table together. Fridays would be taco nights, Castiel’s favorite night. He would come home and his mom would be humming along to gospel music. He never liked it but he associates it with warmth and home. Balth and Anna would be arguing over some unnecessary thing that Castiel would be the unwilling moderator. 

 But here, at Uncle Zachariah’s house, all he’s greeted by is the white angel statue that’s haunting his nightmares and the white sterile walls. He almost wishes to be in school. At least there, he’s not alone. He’s surrounded by people as hateful and repulsive as they are. 

 He’s been here for a week and he's only seen his uncle in the mornings but even then, he doesn't say a word to him. He’s sure his uncle is avoiding him. It’s the same reason he doesn’t go to church with him. 

 His mother would never do that. His mother never cared about who he was. She told him she loved him just like he was. That God didn't make any mistakes. 

+++

 Castiel is certain that God is punishing him by putting him in gym. Alistair and Crowley were in this class with him which made sense because Gym was an extension of Hell and they were all demons. 

 The Gym teacher was actually making them do things in class and if you didn't, you don't pass the class. At Castiel’s old school, if you were there, you would automatically pass. The teacher didn't care if you just read on the bleachers which was what he did. He would lose himself in the world of those stories and be disappointed when the bell rung and ripped him from the world. 

  “Heads up, Fairy!”Alistair called out. A ball hit him square in the face when he looked up. Alistair and his friends laughed.

 “You alright, Novak?”, Coach White yells over at him.The name is ironic because he’s an African American man.  Castiel nods. He’s learned that you can’t show weakness in front of bullies- it only encourages them.

He makes an effort to say in the back of the team, shielding himself with the bodies of his peers. But the ball always seems to come his way. He finds that he hates volleyball. 

 By the time the bell rings, his head hurts and his arms are sore. He makes his way to his locker in the Gym to get his things. He has no intention on changing in front of these boys, that’s like taking off his only source of protection. He’ll find a bathroom to change in.

 Alistair is leaning by his locker, holding Castiel’s bag in his hand. “Quick question, Church Boy, what do you think of male on male action?”

 “Please give me my bag.” He reaches for it and Alistair raises it up higher. “Ever took it in the ass or are you the one giving it?”

 “I am indifferent to sexual orientation and my sexuality is not your business.” He stares Alistair down and decides not to play his petty game. 

 Everyone in the locker room laughs. He won’t show weakness. Alistair opens his bag and Castiel lunges for it but Alistair punches him, knocking him down. Alistair empties all of it's contents on him. Castiel’s math book hits him square in the eye. He whimpers in pain.

 “Watch your mouth, Fag.” Alistair  kicks him in his ribs.

  Castiel lies there until everyone has left. 

  He gets up, and slowly starts to fit everything in his bag, his eyes burning. Although, he tries, it;s hard to hold back the big fat tears that sting the cut on his cheek. He doesn't bother changing,he just puts on his trench coat. 

 He goes to the mirror to clean up his face. He’ll need ice to calm the swelling in his eye and a bandaid for his cheek. 

 He puts on his bag and hurries on to class, not bothering the nurse,knowing his uncle will only yell at him. He runs smack into the boy from the bus. 

 “Sorry”, he mutters, rushing to his english class. 

+++

 

**_Dean_ **

The boy had a black eye in math class. Everyone in school knows that Alastair had something to do with it. Alastair and his friends crack up when they see him on the bus that afternoon. Those blue eyes stay steady as he walks towards Dean. He almost wishes that the boy won't sit next to him but he does. And he can feel Alastair’s eyes burning a hole in his skull. Great. One nice thing and he gets in trouble for it. 

 In Gym, all they could talk about was Alastair beating the boy up. _ Castiel, his name is castiel.  _ Because he’s a “fag” and talked back. He didn't see the boy in his math class and when his name got called for attendance, people snickered. Dean felt bad for him. But he knew getting involved would only mean trouble for him. Then, he feels even more like shit because he knows that if this was Sammy, he would kill Alistair. No one messes with his little brother. 

  He gets off on the stop next to Sammy’s school to pick him up. He leans beside the slides as Sammy runs to him, smile bright. He burrows into Dean’s arms for a hug. He’s already taller than Dean. He's only in the eighth grade for crying out loud.

 “Hey, Sammy! How was school?”

 “Great! Jessica’s my partner for the science project and I got an A on my math test!”

Dean smiles. “That’s awesome, nerd.” He ruffles Sam’s hair. “You need a haircut.”

  “Dean!” Sam’s cheeks flush. “Mom says I can grow it out.”

  “Okay, Samantha.”

  Sam does his best bitch face and walks ahead of Dean. “Jerk!”

  “Bitch”, Dean smirks. 

   They walk the way home filled with Sam’s rumbling about school and his friends and “Jessica did this” and “Jessica did that.”

   “Sounds like you got a crush, Sam.”

   Sam blushes. “Shut up, Dean!”

   It’s Friday so they stop at the roadhouse to grab some of Ellen’s amazing burgers and a whole tin of apple pie. Fridays are the best. 

  The Roadhouse is packed as always and Dean and Sam make their way to Jo, who’s sitting at the bar doing homework. 

  “Hey, Jo. Where’s Ellen?”

   Jo whips her head up, sees Dean and blushes. She’s always had a crush on Dean. He smiles back at her.  “S-She’s in the back.”

  He flashes her another smile. 

  “Bye, Jo!”, Sammy says, waving at her. She hides her face behind her blonde hair. 

  “Hey, Boys”, Ellen grins, the burgers and pie already in a to-go bag.  

  Dean hugged her.“Hey, Ellen” 

  “Woah, Sam. I swear you grew a foot since the last time I saw you.” When she hugged him, she barely reached his shoulder. Sam blushes and takes the to go bad from her hands. 

  “Hey Dean. I heard that the Novak boy is in math class with you.” Her face concerned. “How’s he doing? Bobby said he came in class with a black eye.”

  “I’m sure he’s fine.”

  She looks unconvinced. “It can sure be hard, being the new kid and the preacher’s nephew. That boy shouldn’t be judged for who he is.”

  Dean nods. “I heard he got hit for being you know what.”

  Ellen smiles. “It’s okay to say it you know. I’m not your father.  Poor boy’s uncle isn’t making it any easier. News travels fast in this town.”

  Dean knew that. It was one of the reasons he hated it here, there was no place to hide. No one could really be who they were. He saw it everyday in Charlie.Yes, she could be a nerd but she couldn't show who she liked to kiss. The world was cruel. 

 He couldn’t wait to get out of here. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is up! Thanks to everyone who has been reading so far. Kudos/comments are appreciated. I would love to hear what you think about it :)

_**Dean** _

Dean felt that it was weird to not talk to the person you sat next to every day of the bus. He thought of things to say in the morning before they got to the boy’s stop. “ _Hey, you’re in my Calc class, aren't you? Yeah, i knew i recognized you._ ”, “ _Hey, you okay? Heard you got beat up_?”. Jesus. But when Castiel came on the bus, his black eye now purple and not as swollen, he said nothing at all.

+++

When he sees Castiel sitting next to a smiling Charlie at his table during lunch, he does a double take.

“Dean”, Gabriel smirks. “You know Castiel Novak.”

Dean nods, taking a seat next to Gabriel, stepping on his foot on purpose.

“Ouch” He glares at Dean.

“Children,children” Charlie snaps her fingers. Dean can see Cas looking at him out of the corner of his eye, his eyes squinted like he’s accessing him. The staring unnerves him. He tries to ignore it.

“What?” Dean snaps, trying very hard not to look at the blue eyed boy.

“We’re gonna sort Castiel in a house” She looks at Castiel, casting a critical eye. “I know you’re not a slytherin for one thing.”

Cas tilts his head, eyes squinted. Dean notices that he does that often. He also notices that he’s also not wearing a suit today, just a button down and slacks but he wears that trench coat almost like a shield. The same way Dean wears his father’s coat.

“What’s a slytherin?”

You could see the moment Charlie’s heart broke. Her eyes went wide and Dean groaned as he waited for the infamous speech about Harry Potter and how people who haven't seen it should reconsider their life choices.

“Castiel, have you been living under a rock your whole life?”

The boy’s eyes crinkled in confusion. “No, I've always lived in a home.”

Gabe almost spit out his chocolate milk and Dean bit his lip to hide his laughter.

Charlie rolled her eyes. “ A Slytherin is something you're not, my clueless puppy.” Cue another clueless look from the boy. “They're cunning,evil. You would be a Hufflepuff. Gentle and caring and sweet.”

“Is this a flirtation?”

Dean couldn't keep the laughter in anymore and neither could Gabriel. Castiel eyed them, a slight smile on his face though he looked more confused, his head tilted.

Charlie scoffed. “You're not my type, dear hufflepuff.”

“Hufflepuff?”

“From Harry Potter.”

Cas tilted his head. “What's that?”

Charlie grinned. Gabriel and Dean groaned. _Here we go_ ,Dean thought, taking a bite out of his burger.

+++

The next day, Dean sees Castiel reading a Harry potter book on the way to school.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Dean_ **

 Castiel is now a constant staple at their lunch table. It’s weird to sit across from him everyday and still not talk to him on the bus or during lunch.Charlie spends all her time educating him in LARPing and Harry Potter. 

 It's almost funny to see his panicked eyes when she squeals and punches his arm when he mentions that he finished the first book and liked it. 

 “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No, Castiel. Nothing is ever wrong when it’s Harry Potter. You did good, fellow hufflepuff.”

  He tilts his head. Dean notices he does this often when he’s confused, which is a lot. Confusion seemed to be apart of the dude’s personality. 

  Charlie is brimming with glee. Her eyes practically manic. “So tell me your favorite parts!”

  “The magic. ” The corners of his mouth quirk up. “And the witches are not as evil as my uncle portrays them to be. Though, Voldemort seems to be an evil presence.”

  Charlie rolls her eyes. “They’re wizards, Castiel.”

 “Right.”Castiel nods. “I intend to read the next book.”

 Charlie grins, punches his shoulder again. “You better. Now let’s talk about your favorite character.”

 Dean shares a look with Gabriel. He swirls a finger around his ear, mouths ‘crazy’ and goes back to eating his chocolate cupcake. 

+++

 It’s a few days later when Castiel speaks to Dean on the bus. 

“I really enjoyed this book.”, the boy says on the bus ride home. 

It takes a moment to register that he’s talking to him. Dean turns his head to look at him. The boy is holding the second Harry Potter book,flipping through the pages fondly. “What?”

He looks up at Dean, the side of his mouth quirked up. God, his eyes are blue. It always shocks Dean to look at them. “Harry Potter. Charlie has an excellent taste in books though she seems a little obsessed with Hermione.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah. She claims the books saved her.”

“Literature can be some people’s safe havens. I understand her point.”

Dean nodded. “So, what chapter are you on?”

“Oh, I finished it.”

 Dean whipped his head to the boy, eyes wide in disbelief. “You finished that big book already?”

 Castiel didn't look phased. “Yes. It was an engaging story. It only took me three days.”

 “It took me a week.”

 He shrugged. “Everyone is different.”

 Dean laughs. “Is that a subtle way of calling me stupid?”

 “You’re very smart, Dean.” Castiel is looking at him with his wide eyes, peering deep into his soul it seems. It should be illegal to have eyes that blue. 

 Dean looks away. “Okay.”

 “You seem to have low self-esteem. You  _ are _ smart. You answer every question correctly in Mr.Singer’s class.”

His eyebrows shot up.  “Really? You never seem to be paying attention in that class. ”

 “ I pay attention.”

  Dean nods again and tears his eyes away from the boys bright blue ones. “So, you’re gonna read the third one?”

  Cas nods. “Though I’m not sure how I’ll acquire the third one. The library only had the first two.”

 “You could buy them.”

  Castiel trums through the pages. “My uncle won’t allow me. He believes any book that has witchcraft is evil.”

 “Right. Your uncle is pastor Zachariah.” He pretends not to notice Castiel’s wince when he mentions the boy’s uncle’s name. “What’s that like?”

 “Lonely. My uncle is very busy with the church.”

 The bus stops at a big white house.Castiel gets up abruptly. “Goodbye,Dean.”

+++

“Hey, Sammy. Can I borrow the Prisoner of Azkaban?” Dean leans against the door frame. 

Sam is at his desk, listening to classical music while studying because he claims it helps you retain what you learn. The nerd. 

 “Why?”

 “ I want to read it.”

 “I thought you already did. Didn’t charlie force you to read all of them?”

 “Well,  I want to reread it.”

 “Why?”

 He groans.“Dammit, Sammy. Just let me borrow it.”

 “Language”, Mary says, a basket of clothes in her arms. She smacks him upside the head.  “Sam is only in middle school.”

 He smiles down at her.. “Trust me, mom, he knows a whole lot worse than one curse word.”

That earns another smack on the head. “Dean.”

He sighs. “Ow. Okay. Sorry.”

“We’re having dinner with the singers tonight so be ready in an hour.” She gives him a stern look. 

He stands up rod straight and salutes her.  “Yes, ma’am.”

She smiles, squeezes his arms.

As soon as she leaves, Dean barges into Sam’s room and snatches the book of his book shelf. Sam’s bookshelf is alphabetically organized. The nerd. 

“Thanks, Bitch.” He smacks Sam with the book. 

 “Jerk.”

When Castiel sits next to him on the bus the next morning, Dean gives him the book. 

Castiel opens his mouth to protest.Dean shakes his head. “Just bring it back when you're done.”

 “I’ll have it back by tomorrow.”

 Dean smiles. “Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter I know! I'm sorry! Next week's chapter will be longer :) I'm having a blast writing this story and thank you so much for reading. Comments/Kudos are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Two chapters in one week! I hope you enjoy this one. This chapter does contain homophobic language. My poor Cas :(

**_Castiel_ **

 

 Castiel felt on top of the world and over energized which might be because of all the coffee he consumed. He’d spent the previous night reading latest Harry Potter book Dean had given him, using his phone as a light when his uncle banged on his door to cut off the lights. He’d spent all night with a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach, finally feeling comfortable in this house. Maybe it was the book but it was most definitely because of the owner of said book. He took extra care to keep the book clean, careful to not have a single drop of peanut butter and jelly fall on the book. 

  When he made his way downstairs, feeling as if a warm bubble were surrounding him, his uncle is still there, sipping coffee and typing away on his laptop. 

 Castiel always timed his appearances downstairs. His uncle was usually gone by 7 and he’d wait until 7:05 before he went downstairs to make some coffee and peanut butter toast. 

 He considers forgetting breakfast and just walking towards his bus stop early. His stomach growls, betraying him. 

 His uncle glances up. “Castiel.”

 Castiel forces himself to smile. “Uncle Zachariah.”

 Zachariah glances back down at the laptop and silence ensues. Castiel takes advantage of that and rushes out of the house. He’ll have to suffer the hunger pains. 

 When Cas enters the bus, his eyes seek out Dean’s. Green eyes met his and he ducked his head, hoping the miscreants at the back of the bus wouldn't see. 

 Dean raised his eyebrows when Castiel slumps down low in his seat. “Well?”

 Cas held the book up proudly. “I have finished it.”   
 He laughs. “In a freaking day. That’s inhuman. Did you even sleep?”

 “No.”

 “Okay, nerd. I swear you give Sammy a run for his money.”Dean rolled his eyes, grabbing the book. Castiel’s breath hitched when he felt the boy’s warm fingers brush against his. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

It soon became a game. Dean would produce Cas with the next harry potter book and Cas would announce how long it took him. It would always be a day.

 When Cas finished The Half Blood Prince in two days, Dean held it over his head for days. 

 Cas huffed, the grumpy look on his face adorable if Dean thought too long about it. “It was my least favorite book, Dean.”

 “Sure, Cas. I think your super powers are fading.”

 Cas tilted his head. 

 Dean sighed. “Never mind.” He produced the next book. “Here you go. The last book.”

 “Thank you, Dean.”

 “Stop thanking me, Cas.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Hey Cas, what superpower would you want to have?”

  “The ability to summon dessert whenever I want it.” Gabriel cut in, grinning and munching on a taffy. 

 Dean rolls his eyes. “No one asked you, Gabe.”

 “Deany-poo, I was just interrupting what would be the lamest pickup line in history.”

 If looks could kill, Gabe would be dead. “Shut up, man.”

 Cas just had his head tilted. Dean sometimes wondered if Cas had been raised away from civilization in the woods or something but knowing who his uncle was, Dean wouldn’t be surprised. 

 Dean turned to Cas, ignoring Gabe. “Cas?”

 “I’d want to fly.”

 “Boring.” Gabe sung. 

 Dean threw the Harry Potter book against Gabe’s head. “Ouch, goddammit! That’s a big book, Dean, i’m gonna get brain damaged.”

 “Thought you already suffered from that.” Dean smirked. “Go back to working on that tooth decay.”

 Gabe glares and tosses the book back to Dean, the book slightly missing his groin. 

 “I think it’s cool,Cas.”

The corner of Cas’s mouth lifts up. “Would you like to fly, too, Dean?”

 The resulting answer is Gabe’s bolstering laughter. Dean smacks him in the head. 

 “I don’t do flying, Cas.”

  Another snort. Cas squints his eyes. 

 “Shut up, Gabe.”

+++

 The next day  when Cas sits next to Dean, he raises his eyebrows. “Need another day?”

 Cas sighs, handing the book to Dean. “I’m very disappointed, Dean.”

 “What? You didn't like that Harry defeated he who shall not be named.”

 He shakes his head. “No, that was good. I...I just can’t believe he ended up with Ginny and Hermione.”

 Dean laughs. “That-That’s your problem?”

 Cas glares at him. “Yes.”

 He turns towards the window to hide his face. “Just wait until Charlie hears about this.”

+++

 She does hear about it. Gabe is grinning and Charlie has her face set in a pout when  Dean and Cas sit down. 

 “Castiel”, she says. “I am very disappointed with you.”

  Cas actually ducks his head and Dean has to bite his lip to not laugh. “I’m sorry.”

  She holds her hand up. “No, Castiel. Although I ship Hermione with myself, she so does not belong with Harry.”

 “I have always found their interactions more interesting.”

  Charlie slams her hand down on the lunch table, making Gabe spill his chocolate milk. “End of discussion, Castiel. We are not on speaking terms.”

 She gets up and leaves, her red hair fluttering behind her. 

  Cas is frowning, his eyebrows pinched together. “Are we really not friends anymore?”

  Dean throws his arm around Cas’s shoulder, bringing him closer to his side. “Nah. She’ll be talking to you by tomorrow.”

  His frown grows deeper. “I don't think I understand girls.”

  Dean grins. “Neither do I, Cas.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

  Sundays are quickly becoming Castiel’s least favorite day. He could usually avoid going to his uncle’s church simply by his uncle not wanting him to go. 

 Unfortunately, his uncle was there, standing in his doorway informing him that he would be going to church today. Castiel didn't put up any argument, not wanting to give his uncle any more reasons to hate him, thinking maybe this would make his uncle hate him less. 

 It’s when his uncle starts his testaments that he realizes he should’ve feign sickness instead of coming here. 

 Castiel made sure to sit in the front row like a good nephew. When he is instructed to his bible to Romans 1:26, he feels like his peanut butter toast might come back up. 

 His uncle reads the words clearer than a bell. Castiel feels like the words are meant directly for him. Each word, stabbing him, leaving him bloodied and raw. 

_  “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.  Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.” _

__ Uncle Zachariah looks directly at him. “It is not God’s will for a man to love another man.”

 Castiel doesn’t register the other words that follow. Tears sting his eyes and he wants to run out or drop into pit and never come out. He swears he can feel every eye on him. But he won’t run. That would be admitting something. He turns to a different page and focuses on the beginning of the bible instead. 

 Sundays are definitely Castiel’s least favorite day. 

**_Dean_ **

 

Sundays suck. 

All he could think about was how close Sundays were to Mondays and worst of all, he had to go to church. 

His mom forced him to get up early _ (7 p.m. _ ) even though it was a weekend. And he couldn’t wear his leather jacket or his jeans. He would have to wear a button down and freaking  _ slacks _ . 

Sammy was beyond excited to be in church. He read the whole bible, knew some verses by heart. Would always spout about angels and how they watched over us. 

His mom insisted that they sit in the front. Dean spotted Cas’s dark wild hair in the front seat on the far left, right by the door as if he was planning an easy way out.  Dean wondered why Cas was here. 

“Dean”, his mom pulled him towards the middle of the church.

 When Pastor Novak opened his mouth after telling them to turn to some verse, he felt the anger curl in his stomach. 

_ Man should not love another man. Women should not love other woman. It is a sin.  _

He thought of Charlie with her goofy grin, nerdy fangirling, and her red, flaming hair. Then, he thought of the rumors of Cas. He wanted to punch the pastor in the face.  

Sundays were the fucking worst. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Kudos/comments are appreciated! :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I'm sorry this is so late! AP tests are coming up and that's taking me away from my beautiful cinnamon rolls. I Hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)

**_Dean_ **

 

As soon as service is over, he excuses himself to the bathroom but makes his way over to Cas. The boy is still, lost in reading the Bible. 

“Cas?” 

The boy doesn't answer. Dean taps his shoulder and he jolts as if waking up. His eyes are glazed like he’s not seeing Dean at all. “Oh, hello Dean.”

“You okay?”

The church is almost cleared now. Dean sits next to Cas, keeps a comforting arm around his shoulder. 

“Dean, how much do you think God values sexual orientation?”

“Uh, I don’t know, Cas. If anyone judges someone based on who they love, screw them.” He smiles reassuringly at him.

 Cas turns towards him, looking like a puppy that’s been kicked. “My uncle thinks I’m an abomination.”

 “Your uncle sucks, then. I think you’re awesome.”

  “So you don’t care, Dean?”

  “Nah.”

 Castiel smiles. Dean has never seen him smile like that in the few weeks he’s known him.Cas should smile like that more often, his eyes are even bluer and his smile, as girly as it sounds, lights up the whole world. Dean can't help but smile back. 

 “How bout we go to my house and cheer you up with pie?”

 Cas nods. “Yes. I don’t think I want to go back to that house.”

+++

 Mary, John and Sam Winchester were waiting in the embarrassing blue Honda when Dean and Cas came out. 

 “Hey mom, dad”, Dean says, leaning into the window on the driver’s side. “‘Sokay if Cas joins us at the roadhouse?”

  Mary smiles warmly at the boy hanging in the back, hovering close to Dean. “Of course Cas can join us.”

**_Castiel_ **

“We need movies with this pie.” Dean announces, looking through a drawer of DVDs. “Whaddya say, Cas?”

 “Okay.”

They were in the Winchester’s living room, far more homey than Cas’s new home. There was actual color here.The walls were blue and the couches were worn and brown and there were pictures of the family together. He particularly liked the picture of Dean as a toddler with a bowl hair cut sitting on the hood of the Impala. _ My future car _ , Dean had told him, a proud smile on his face before he quickly flipped the frame over. Dean’s father snorted.  _ In your dreams. _

 Dean pulled out a movie, cocking an eyebrow up. “How about we introduce you to a classic, Red Dawn?”

  Sam groaned. “No, let’s watch a disney movie.”

 “No, Sammy. We need to introduce Cas to classic action movies and Patrick Swayze.”

  “Stop trying to force your man crush on people, Dean.”

  “It’s not a man crush.”

  “Dean and Patrick Swayze kissing in a tree. K-I-S-S”

  “Shut up, Sammy.”

  “Let's watch a movie that's not patrick swayze and i'll shut up.”

  “The only disney movie that we have is Rapunzel.”

  Sam smirks. 

  “No.”

  “First comes the baby..”

  Dean looks ready to throw the red dawn dvd upside Sam’s head. 

 “I’ve never seen Rapunzel, Dean.”

 Dean sighs and brings out the tape, grumbling as he puts it in. He squeezes himself between Cas and Sam. Sam cackling the entire time. 

**_Dean_ **

 The movie goes swimmingly. Dean stuffs himself with pie and tries to downtalk the movie and Cas shushes him, his eyes wide with curiosity. He seems to be enjoying the movie. Dean rolls his eyes. 

 At the end of the movie, Cas stares at dean, eyes scrunched up. “You bare a striking resemblance to Rapunzel, Dean.”

 Sam laughs. Dean chucks a pillow at him. 

 “We’re watching Red Dawn now.”

**_Castiel_ **

Cas wakes up to the smell of bacon and the sound of soft snoring. It take a second to realize he’s on a couch in Dean’s home and not being suffocated.Dean’s body is practically on top of Cas’, his arm draped across Cas’s stomach. There’s a thick blanket covering the both of them. 

He hears a snicker and looks up to see Sam snapping a photo of him and Dean. His eyes widen when his eyes meet Cas’s, hiding the phone behind his back. “Mom sent me to wake you guys up.”

Cas nods and tries to get up without waking the boy on top of him. But Dean is heavy and  requires a lot more force to move him. He jolts awake, nearing smacking Cas in the face. He looks around wildly before his eyes fall on Cas.

“Morning,Cas.” He grins lazily, rubbing his eyes. 

His hair is sticking up everywhere. Cas resists the urge to run his fingers through it to tame it. 

“Good morning, Dean.”

 Dean gets up and stretches. “I smell bacon. Let’s eat.”

 Mary grins, whisking batter in a bowl. “Morning boys.”

 “Morning, mom.” Dean kisses her cheek, stealing a piece of bacon off the paper toweled plate. He grabs two plates off the dish rack and hands one to Cas.

“Good morning, Mrs.Winchester.”

Cas follows him to the table, plopping down next to Dean. 

Sam grins at Dean. “Had any sweet dreams, Dean?”

Dean scowls at him, placing pancakes on his plate. “Bitch.”

“Language!”, Mrs.Winchester chides. It’s amusing to see the chastised look on Dean’s face. Cas bites his lip to hide the grin. 

“Cas, honey, help yourself before Dean eats them all.”

Dean rolls his eyes, stuffing a forkful of pancakes in his mouth.

“Thank you, Mrs.Winchester.” He proceeds to grab one pancake. 

“Dude, you can’t just have one.” Dean plops another pancake on Cas’s plate and pushes the maple syrup his way, winking at him. “Mom makes the best pancakes, almost better than pie.”

 Cas grins and takes a bite. Dean is right. 

+++

Alastair is leering when Dean and Cas walk on the bus together. 

Cas can feel Alastair's eyes on them, silently watching as they take their seats.

Castiel knows exactly why. It’s the same reason Gabriel smirked at him. Nice plaid, he had commented before going back to his notebook. 

“Nice clothes.” Alastair says.

His goons cackle and Dean tenses up in his seat.  

Cas choses to ignore Alastair,his skin crawling. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments are appreciated :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is up! Thank you guys so much for all the feedback. I'm glad you guys are enjoying and I am having so much fun writing this :)  
> This chapter does contain homophobic language. :(

**_Castiel_ **

 

“Favorite band?” Dean asks, his head resting on the top of the bus seat.

 They had a new game going on. Twenty questions. Every day on the bus would start with a new question.  _ Favorite book? _ Right now it was Harry Potter. Dean disagreed, claiming Slaughterhouse Five and On the Road was better. Cas had smiled at that.  _ “And you claim that you aren’t intelligent, Dean.” _ Dean ducked his head then but Castiel could see the his cheeks flush. His freckles were more pronounced when that happened. Dean’s freckles were Castiel’s favorite part of Dean. 

 Castiel shrugged.  “I don’t listen to music. But I have heard of The Jonas Brothers, Anna had an obsession with them.”

 Dean’s eyes went wide. “Please don’t say you enjoyed their music, Cas. I don't think I could be your friend anymore.”

 “Burning up was a good tune.”

 And that cracked Dean up. Cas smiled.

“And you, Dean? What’s your favorite band?”

“Led Zeppelin.”

At Cas’s head tilt, Dean scoffed. “What? You know who the Jonas Brothers are but not Led Zeppelin?”

“Yes.”

 “That’s it. Tonight, you’re coming to my house and you’re gonna get schooled in classic rock, Novak.”

 Cas smiled for the fifth time today. It seemed that was all he could do around Dean. 

+++

 Castiel didn't notice how no one bothered him in Gym today. They were running today. Castiel won the first relay against a scrawny boy who always seemed to be writing in a journal every time Cas saw him. There were mocking cheers and whistles but that was it. No name-calling. No shoves or “accidental” hits. Cas was already putting this in his slot of best days. There was only one so far and that was the Sunday he spent with Dean, watching movies and eating pie. 

 When Castiel entered the locker room, he should’ve known that things were going too good. He realized why no one bothered them. They had something bigger and better. Alistair and his friends along with the whole gym class were standing at the end of the lockers, waiting for Castiel to get to his. 

 The words ‘FAG’, ‘COCK SUCKER’, ‘FAIRY’ and ‘BITCH’ were written in bold, red letters along with the drawings of penises and a very graphic picture under the word, cocksucker. 

 Castiel  was no stranger to this. He knew if he walked away, it would be exactly what they wanted. 

 Instead, he closed his eyes.  _ Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. You’re fine. _

 Then, he opened them and went to wet some towels. He could hear the laughs as he methodically wiped off the offensive words. The words leaving a mark on his skin somehow. 

 He waited until the bell rung and everyone left before he let a tear fall. 

 The scrawny boy stayed. He started wiping the locker, the words coming off easily. “Soap and water will do the trick”, he whispered. 

 Together, they worked, scrubbing off the graffiti in silence. It took almost all of the lunch period before it was completely clean. Cas still felt like he could see the words, could feel them on his hands.  _ Fag. Fairy.  _

 “Thank you”, Cas said.

 “No problem. Those guys are jerks.” The boy smiled, holding out a hand. “I’m Chuck.”

 Cas shook his hand. “Castiel.”

 “Cool name. After the angel, right?”

 “Yes.”

 “Yeah. I’m writing a book on angel mythology.”

 They threw the dirty towels into the trash. The bell rung. 

 Castiel was late to English class, choosing to skip lunch despite Chuck inviting him to join him. 

Despite what happened in the last forty minutes, it melted away when Dean smiled at him in English class.

**_Dean_ **

 “Do you think I should ask Kali out?”, Gabriel asked. They were walking to English class, and all Dean could think about was why Cas wasn’t at lunch. It felt like something was missing. 

 “Sure. She’s out of your league, though.” Maybe he made new friends, Dean thought. That would suck.

 “How should I do it?”

 “The good ole middle school note passing.” Maybe he had a club meeting but Cas was only in book club and that was on thursdays. 

 They took their seats in the back of the class. 

 Gabriel tapped Dean’s head. “Where are you?”

 “In English class.”

 “You seem distracted.”

 “I’m-”

 “Dean, Gabriel, class is in session. You should’ve done all your gossiping during lunch.” Mrs. Thompson yelled. 

 “Grade A bitch,” Gabriel muttered, taking out his notebook.

  Dean feels his shoulders relax when Cas walks in late. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter I know! Testing season is creeping up on me and taking me away from writing. Feedback is always appreciated. My APUSH test is this week so wish me luck :)


	9. Chapter 9

**_Dean_ **

 

 Dean hates to admit it but sometimes, he sleeps right through the yelling. Usually, he wakes up to Sammy curled at the bottom of his bed, the only indicator that a fight even occurred.

 It’s mostly over stupid things like Dad coming home too late and drunk off his ass, or mom coming home late or working extra hours or who was supposed to do the dishes. 

 Sammy says that that’s a sign their parents might divorce. He hopes not. 

 Tonight, the screaming is too loud and he hears slamming and if they scream any louder the neighbors will call the cops. Tonight, the fight is about Sammy.

_  “He’s only 14! You can’t force this on him!” _

_  “He never does anything I ask!” _

_  “This is his life, John!” _

 Sammy creeps into Dean’s room, his hazel eyes ringed red. Dinner had been tense-they ate at the roadhouse and this has been brewing for weeks. Sammy taking an interest in law instead of the garage. He was never good at fixing cars anyway. 

 “I’m sorry, Dean.” Sammy looks so young and wide-eyed that it takes them back to when he was five and wouldn’t understand why their parents were fighting. Back then, he would crawl under Dean’s arm and stay there, tears falling on the bed sheets. 

 Sam sits at the end of the bed, draws his legs to his chest.

 “It’s not your fault, Sammy.” Dean crawls over to his brother, slinging an arm across his shoulders. “Mom’s right, it’s your life.”

 The boy sniffles. “I wish I was more like you. You always meet Dad’s expectations and he loves you.”

 “Dad loves you, too.”

 “Not as much as you.”

 And Dean doesn’t know what to say to that. He wishes he could tell Sam that he’s not sure he reaches Dad’s expectations either. 

 Mom is crying and it’s the one he knows well,deep gut-wrenching sobs followed by a “Don’t touch me.”

 Then there’s a door slam and the sound of an engine turning on. 

 He closes his eyes and isn’t surprised when he thinks of Cas.it makes him feel a tiny bit better.  +++

 Morning is a quiet affair but Dean is relieved to see no marks on his mom. His dad has never hit her but every fight gets a little bit worse and Dean was always a pessimistic. 

 Dad isn’t at the breakfast table and he’s a little relieved about that. His mom has a glassy look in her eye and a fake smile as she gives them lunch money and wishes them a good day at school. 

 It’s the first time that he’s actually excited for that stupid bus to pick him up.

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

 As soon as Castiel is on the bus, Dean is smiling at him. Not his usual morning smirk but actually beaming. He finds out why when the boy pulls out an ancient tape player and produces one ear bud to Castiel. 

 “We’re gonna listen to Zeppelin like I promised.”

 They listen to half of the tape and Castiel feels like he’s in a different world, just him and Dean. One where Dean is grinning at him and mouthing the words while making the most dramatic faces and making Castiel laugh so hard that other people glance at him. The guitar solos are Castiel’s favorites because Dean goes crazy trying to emulate playing a guitar. 

 They’re both breathless when the bus pulls up to the school. 

 Dean grins, his freckles standing out because of the sunlight shining directly on his face. He throws an arm around Castiel’s shoulders. “Now you’ve heard Zeppelin.”

 Castiel laughs. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

 “Lisa is into you, just FYI”,Gabriel says, popping skittles in his mouth. 

 Dean glances back at the girl. She’s staring right at him and she grins at him when their eyes meet. Lisa is a pretty brunette and a cheerleader which would be right up Dean’s alleyway if he was in middle school. He’d dated a cheerleader then, Cassie. Their relationship ended freshman year. 

 “But I’m not into Lisa.” Dean steals a handful of Gabriel’s skittles. 

 Gabriel places a hand on his chest, his face shell-shocked. “Dean Winchester, what have they done to you?”

 He rolls his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be helping me with this worksheet?”

 They were working on Midsummer Night’s Dream in pairs. Cas was paired with Crowley, one of the kids who wore all black and smoked behind the dumpsters. Crowley was talking and Cas was staring out the window, his lips in a thin line. He remembered Cas wishing his superpower was to fly. 

 “Pssh. I’m only gonna copy yours so hurry up.” He smirks. “And don’t change the subject. You’d usually jump at the chance of Lisa.”

 “I’m just not interested.”

 Cas is now scribbling on his paper while Crowley talks. Crowley was a short, stocky guy that always seemed bigger than he was. The dude creeped Dean out. He felt sorry for Cas.

 Gabriel gasps. “So I was right.”

 “Right about what?”

 “Charlie owes me five bucks. Just friends, my ass. I’m on the bus with you two love birds.”

 Dean’s heart drops. “What?”

 “You and ole blue eyes.”

 “No, no,we-we’re just friends.”

 Gabriel raises his eyebrow.

 “I’m not gay.”

 Gabriel smirks.

 He sighs. This seems to be a losing battle. Dean shoves his worksheet towards the smirking boy. “Do your part.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

 “If I didn't answer, I’m busy or I just don’t want to talk to you. Balth,shut up- Shut up, Castiel! Anyway, leave a message.”

 Castiel sighs. She never answers. 

 He hates this. When he feels extra lonely but suffocated by this house and all he wishes for is the warmth and smiles of his sister and his brother. Balthazar disconnected his phone months ago. Anna never answers hers. Voice messages are pointless. 

 He gets his laptop and pulls up YouTube, types in Zeppelin and tries to find the song he and Dean listened to where Dean started mouthing the words to him with a goofy grin on their way from school. 

_  Whole Lotta Love. _

 He plays it on full blast and closes his eyes. He can imagine bright green eyes and freckles that stand out in the sunlight and the goofy grin, the hand that grabs his thigh when the chorus of the song kicks in. 

 And he doesn't feel so alone anymore. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

 Maybe it’s that Dean doesn't want to face going home to see that his dad isn't there but he’ll deny it if you asked him. He just needs to get out of that house. At least until everyone is asleep and the awkward family dinner is over.

 The impala is still in the driveway when he and Sam get home. His dad must’ve taken the hideous blue van. 

 He avoids the kitchen where he knows his mom will be and he grabs all his Zeppelin tapes and even some Joy Division before he makes his way back to the Impala, taking the keys from the key ring by the door. 

 He pops in the first tape and drives.

 Castiel lives about three blocks away from his house and it isn't that hard to spot his house. It’s the only one that looks haunted and it’s white with a well tended lawn. It looks like no one lives here at all. Except for a small minivan.

 He should’ve known it was a bad idea to come. When he knocks on the door, a stocky guy with a bald head who’s none other than Pastor Zachariah opens the door. His eyes light up with recognition. “Winchester’s son?”

 He forces a polite smile. “Yes, sir. Is Cas here?”

 “Cas?”

 “Sorry, Castiel.” 

 There’s a stony look in his eye before the door closes. And Dean figures that that’s that. He sighs and walks back to the Impala. He ignores the crushing disappointment. 

 “Dean?”

 Cas is standing in the doorway, eyes wide and Dean knows he shouldn't have come. Cas is wearing One Direction pajama pants and a gray t-shirt. He smiles. “Didn’t know you were a Directioner?’

 Cas glances down. “Gag gift from Anna, my sister.”

 “Sure, Cas. Use your sister as a cover story.”

 Cas is doing the adorable puppy impersonation. “Why are you here?”

 He gestures towards the Impala. “Figured we could go out for a drive, listen to the other Zeppelin albums since you liked them so much.”

 Cas glances back towards the door, frowns. “Yes. I’ll just go change.”

 “I’ll wait here.” He smiles.

 Dean is sure he can hear grumbling from inside as he sits on the porch steps. Cas comes out faster than he expected with an irritated look on his face. 

 “You okay?”

 Cas nods, then grins. “Zeppelin?”

 Cas’s smile is so infectious, so freaking bright, his eyes alight that Dean grins back. “You betcha, Novak.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

 Dean is bobbing along to the music, thumbs tapping the steering wheel and he looks completely at home. It’s sunset and the oranges of the sky is doing something to Dean’s eyes that make them even more green and Castiel is breathless.

 

**_Dean_ **

 

 Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Cas, grinning as he holds his hand out the window and let his fingers trail the air. 

 Dean notices how his hair is even messier and windswept than usual. 

 He’s doing the lopsided grin and for the first time, he’s completely relaxed.

 When Cas grins back at him, his smile is luminous. 

  Zeppelin does that to people. 

****

**_Dean_ **

 

 He slows down to the Roadhouse.

 “I’m starving”, he announces. “Let’s grab some pie.”

 The Roadhouse is busy past six. Jo’s sitting at the bar, reading a Stephen King novel. Dean is always amazed that she can manage to get lost with all the distractions around her. 

  He knocks his knuckles against the book. “Shouldn’t you be working?”

 “No, i’m on break.”

  Dean grins.

  “Who’s this?”, Jo says, nodding her head towards Cas.

  “Cas.”

  She asses him then grins. “Hi, I’m Jo. Nice eyes.”

  Cas ducks his head. “Hi.”

  “Okay, no flirting. Bring us two slices of your mom’s apple pie.”

  Jo rolls her eyes at Dean. “Yes because i’m your freaking servant.”, she says, walking them to a booth.

 “Sarcasm doesn't do you any good, Joanna Beth.”

 Her answer is the finger as she walks away. 

 Cas is studying the paper menu that they didn't need. 

“Did you want something else, Cas?”

 Cas’s eyebrows are brought together, focusing on the menu. “No. Dean, what’s Banger’s and Mash? And priest strangler?”

 Dean laughs. “Weird food is Ellen’s specialty. That’s why I only order the burgers.”

“Or the pie”, Cas smirks.

“Or the pie”, Dean agrees.

 Jo sets the slices of pie down and looks at them sharply. “If my mom asks, I was a damn good hostess.”

 Dean salutes her. “Alright, ma’am.”

 There’s a faint blush across her cheeks as she walks off. 

 “She likes you romantically”, Cas says, his eyes still on Jo as she gathers dirty plates from a booth.

 Dean scoffs. “Jo’s like a sister.”

 Cas scrunches his eyes. “You don’t like her.” Dean hates when he does that, it’s like he’s staring into Dean’s soul or something.

 “Try the pie, Cas. Ellen makes the best, after my mom of course”. He winks at Cas.

 Cas forks a piece into his mouth. “It’s great.”

 Dean smirks. “Don’t tell my mom.”

+++

 It’s dark when they get back on the road and Dean mentally curses himself. His dad might be back. That leads to him speeding. And that leads to him being pulled over by Jody Mills,town cop. 

“Dean Winchester”, she says, putting on her best mom face that always makes Dean feel guilty.  He remembers when he got caught trying to steal that candy for Sammy because he wouldn’t stop crying for it and he didn't have any money and her using that same face. Or when he would get into fights in middle school when she was a school cop back then.

  He smirks, ignoring the rising panic. “Jody.”

 “It’s Officer Mills on the job.”

 “Officer Mills, how’s the husband?”

 “License and registration, Winchester.”

_  Son of a bitch.  _ “Left it at home.”

 “Mhm.” She frowns at him. “I’m gonna have to take you and your friend to the station and call your parents.”

  He glances back at Cas and sees the poor boy looking like a deer caught in headlights. 

  Shit.

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

 Castiel has never rode in the back of a police car before and he hopes to never do it again.

 Dean is clenching and unclenching his fists beside him and shooting nervous smiles at him.  _ It’s fine, Cas.  _

 At the station, he’s forced to give his uncle’s number. He stutters through it and feels Dean touch his shoulder, anchoring him.

 Dean’s mom arrives first and she’s livid. This sweet woman looks murderous and she speaks to Dean in slow, measured words which makes it worse. Dean has his head ducked down, muttering sorry while Sam has an amused look.

 Mrs. Winchester glances over at Castiel and her voice softens. “Is your uncle coming, Castiel?”

 The mention of his uncle makes the blood drain from Castiel’s face. “Y-yes.”

 They stay with him until his uncle arrives. 

 In Castiel’s head, his uncle comes throwing fireballs out of his eyes he’s so angry. 

 He yells and yells on the ride home about his reputation and how he should’ve just left Castiel there. And the worst part, he was with a boy. “I thought your sinning phase was over.”

 He’s grounded for a week. But it doesn’t matter. His uncle is never around. Castiel doesn't care. 

 He slams the room of his door as his uncle yells it was a mistake to take him in. 

+++

 When he wakes up, he’s terrified. 

 Where will he go now?

 What if his uncle kicks him out? 

 He thinks of not seeing Dean again and wants to beg his uncle and kiss his feet.

 His uncle isn’t there when he goes downstairs in the morning to apologize.

 

**_Dean_ **

 

 In the morning, his dad is back. 

 He’s sitting at the kitchen table, coffee in hand while Sam eats scrambled eggs. He braces himself for the yelling but it doesn't come.

 “We won’t mention this to your dad”, his mom whispers in his ear as she hugs him goodbye. She holds onto him, clutching him like a life raft. “Okay, Dean? I don’t need it tomorrow.”

 He nods, letting out a sigh of relief.

 His mom lets him go with a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Her eyes have bags and he knows she hasn’t slept waiting up for dad. 

 “Have a good day, Dean.”

 


	10. Chapter 10

**_Dean_ **

 

Cas seemed out of it on the bus the next morning. 

Dean had to try extra hard to get him to crack a smile which was already hard because Cas hated mornings. 

The boy didn't acknowledge him when he sat down. Dean tapped Cas’s cheek. 

“I’m sorry”, Dean said.

“For what?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “I feel like I got you in trouble.”

Cas shrugs and it’s so casual, so not Cas that it alarms Dean. “I’m always in trouble with my uncle. He hates me.”

It breaks something in Dean to hear him talk that bluntly.

“Okay, Batman or Superman?” It was always easier to make him feel better by changing the subject.

The side of Cas’s mouth twitched up. He turned towards Dean, head tilted. Dean could not believe it. He was seriously considering his theory that Cas was raised away from civilization.  “Oh, come on, man! You’ve never heard of them?”

“I am aware of superheroes, Dean.” His lips turned up at one corner, amused. 

 “Then,pick one.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

 Would he see all his things packed up when he got back to his uncle’s house?

 What would he tell Dean? Or Gabriel and Charlie-his new friends?

Dean was looking at him expectantly but he can’t bring himself to look at him.His eyes drop to Romeo and Juliet, their next book required reading for English class. Castiel was not liking it so far. Shakespeare’s writing was beautiful but the story was ridiculous. No one could fall in love in days. It was not humanly possible. 

  Dean is poking his cheek. Castiel ignores him. He’s grown used to Dean by now. “Cas. Castiel.”

  He can barely concentrate on his words but he stares at the play in defiance anyway. 

 Then, Dean grabs the play and closes it, setting it on his lap. Cas reaches for it but Dean grabs his hand.  

 He gulps and glances up at Dean. His green eyes are shining and he has that sly smirk he uses to get his way. He’s going to miss that.

 “Dean, you made me lose my page number.”

 He smirked, holding the play up. Cas makes no move to reach for it.Cas has become well versed in the language of Dean to know he won’t be getting that play back any sooner. Dean’s hand is warm around his. 

 “Well, you were being rude, for one thing, reading a chick flick instead of answering me.” He holds the play open to the page Cas stopped at.  “See? I bookmarked it for you because I am so considerate.”

He scowls at Dean. That seems to make his smile wider. Less of a smirk. “You never answered my question. Batman or Superman?”

 He sighs, long and suffering. “Superman.”

 Dean looks shell-shocked. His hand squeezes Cas’s unconsciously, sending a jolt through the boy’s arm. He avoids looking down, afraid Dean will notice and let go. 

 “I meant Batman.” He clears his throat. 

  Dean is back to his sly smirk. “Damn right, Cas. Batman is the best.”

  Cas nods. “Um, of course. Yes he is.”

 “You’ve never seen the movies, have you?”

 “No.”

 “Well, that will have to change.”

 Cas smiled, squeezed Dean’s hand which made the boy look down. What was surprising is that he didn't remove his hand. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

It’s completely stupid. Dean has held hands with girls before. Hell, he’s done a lot worse than holding hands. He wasn’t even nervous during his first kiss. 

He can’t look at Cas when they break part when the bus stops. 

He can’t stop the warm tingling his hands have throughout the day.

He can’t look at Cas during lunch, can’t stop staring at him during English and Calculus. 

He notices how close they sit in lunch, how his hand wants to fit right into Cas’s.

And that scares him shitless. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Castiel’s palm felt tingly all through his morning classes. He rubs his fingers along his palm and laces his fingers together and nothing happens.

Did the nerve endings in his hand have an on and off switch? Were they only activated when Dean touched him? Or were they always there? 

He wants to hold Dean’s hand again. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

When Dean got on the bus, Cas was already there-sitting in Dean’s seat by the window. He doesn't say anything about it, too embarrased. He clutches his binder to have something to do with his hands. 

He recovers the six inches between them. Which meant that Cas really had to reach for his hand...

Cas reaches for his wrist, pulling his hand into his-wrapping his fingers around his while looking out the window. Dean can see a faint smile. His hands are trembling.

 He squeezes Cas’s fingers, shifts around in his seat, turning his back towards the aisle. 

 Cas turns to look at him.

 “Hi”, Dean breathes.

Cas squeezes his fingers. “Hi.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

When Castiel gets home, his hands still tingly, his uncle is in his office. He doesn't mention the accident  when he goes past his office. He doesn’t mention anything at all. 

Castiel prepares to see his room cleared and suitcases by his bedroom door. 

But his room is still intact. His suitcase is still in his closet.

He spots pamphlets on his bed.  _ How to get rid of sinful thoughts _ , one reads. He throws them in the kitchen trash where his uncle can see. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the feedback! It cheers me up when school gets me down. Writing this story is a pleasure and it's reminding me how much I love writing. I love you guys and I hope you're enjoying it so far :)   
>  Thank you so much for reading this chapter!


	11. Chapter 11

**_Dean_ **

 

This whole hand holding thing was seriously drawing back on their conversations. And Dean liked talking to Cas. Cas was weird and he was always funny without meaning to. But the hand holding was great and a little scary. 

He would bring his walkmen and they would listen to Zeppelin or AC/DC or Kansas.

After each song, Cas would state if he liked it or not and that was the only conversation they had. 

_ Highway to hell? _ Cas thought it was fine.

_ Carry on my wayward son?  _ Eh followed by a one armed shrug.

_ Back in Black?  _ Cas wanted to hear it again. 

It’s one week of happiness that all goes to shit and frankly, Dean should’ve seen it coming. 

+++

Charlie is coming at him with a flurry of red hair. She slams her book on his desk to catch his attention in AP Chemistry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”, she yells, her voice vibrating in the half empty room. The few students glaring at her.

“Hello to you, too.”

“Dean Winchester”, she warns.

“Okay, i’ll bite. What didn’t I tell you?”

“Rumor is going around that you and Castiel went on a date wednesday.”

Dean’s heart starts beating in his ears and he’s sure everyone can hear it. “W-what?”

“Is it true?”

“No! I mean, we stopped for burgers but we-we’re friends, Charlie. I’m straight.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh! Sorry, Dean. I just thought it was true. Gabriel said you two were holding hands-”

“We’re friends.”

She opens her mouth to speak again and Dean is grateful the teacher walks in then, calling the class into order.

  
  


+++

The bus has broke down, tacking on an extra thirty minutes before they can get home. 

Gabriel is pissed.”I’m gonna miss Doctor Sexy.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “The new episode doesn’t come on until nine.”

“But they’re doing a whole marathon before the new one comes on.”

“That’s what Netflix was for.”

“What is Doctor Sexy?” Cas says, his eyes leaving his book. He was reading  _ The Notebook _ , which Charlie insisted he read. A freaking chick flick book. 

“Really, Cas?” Dean says, though he shouldn't be so surprised. The dude doesn't watch TV. “You’re coming to my house and we’re gonna do a Netflix marathon. It’s the greatest show to ever live.”

“Date night?”, Gabriel says, eyebrows cocked up, a sly grin on his face. 

“We’re not dating, Gabe.”And maybe his reply is a little too defensive, his voice a little too loud. “Didn’t say you were, Dean.” Gabe’s voice is soft, a little cautious.

Cas tilts his head, eyes squinted. Thank God he’s so clueless sometimes. 

Dean notices Gabriel looking at their joined hands and takes his hand out of Cas’s, bringing his backpack up to look for his calculus textbook. Smooth Winchester, he scolds himself.

“When do you do homework?”

“I don’t want to do it during the weekend. Jesus, stop interrogating me, Gabriel.”

He starts to work on the first problem of homework he already turned in today. 

He pretends to not notice Cas’s frown at all. 

+++

When the bus is inching closer to Dean’s stop, Cas is still frowning and he finds that hurts him more than his pride.

Dean nudges Cas with his shoulder, trying to call his attention away from the book. Cas looked up.

“What?”

“Are you free tonight?”

Cas grinned and it was hard not to grin back. “I do have homework..”

“Well, cancel it. Doctor sexy marathon tonight.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “This obsession with fictional characters is unhealthy.”

Dean held his hand up in defense. “Hey, you said you never watched it so i’m trying to educate you.”

“How is a soap opera educational?”

“You learn about the values of life.” Dean put on his cheekiest grin. 

Cas pointedly went back to reading his book. Dean ran his fingers through the messiness of Cas’s hair without thinking about who might see. “Come on”, he said. “You could stay for dinner and mom is making chicken. She’s been dying to see you again.”

“Fine”, Cas said. “I doubt my uncle will be home until late anyway.”

“Atta boy.”

+++

Sam’s grin widened when he saw Cas next to Dean. “Hey Cas!”

“Hello, Sam.”

“No greetings for me?”, Dean said, mock pouting.

Sam ignores him. “So, Cas, I read that book you recommended. It was awesome.”

“Suck-up”, Dean mutters. He wraps an arm around Cas’s shoulder.”Cas likes me better.”

Sam rolls his eyes along with Cas. “Sure, Dean”, Cas says, making Sam burst out in laughter and Dean pretend to be hurt. 

“Mommy, i’m home!”, Dean yells out. 

Mary comes out and he smile brightens. “Castiel! I was wondering when you would come back. Dean always talks about you.”

“Mom.”

Cas ducks his head, cheeks red. “Hello, Mrs. Winchester.”

“Mary.” she says, enveloping him in a hug. 

“Mary”, he repeats, squeezing her back.

“Okay, well Cas and I are going to my room to watch TV.”

“Can I come?”, Sam asks.

“You hate Dr. Sexy.”

“I wanted to talk to Cas about The Great Gatsby.”

“No, he’s all mine. Sorry.” he grabs Cas’s hand, dragging the boy upstairs. 

“Leave the door open!”, Sam yells out.

“Bitch!”, Dean shouts.

“Language, Dean!”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

The whole thing is amusing to Castiel. The way Dean’s eyes brighten whenever Dr. Sexy himself popped up on screen. Whenever Castiel asked a question and Dean with answer with  much enthusiasm, he seemed like a kid in a candy store. And whenever Castiel  would speak during an intense moment and Dean would shush him, his hand squeezing Cas’s shoulder like a vice grip. 

Castiel loved Dean like this-when he was so passionate and invested in something even as stupid as a TV show.  It wasn't the show that held much interest, it was Dean. 

They sat on dean’s bed, propped up on the head board, Dean’s arm slung around Castiel’s shoulder.

“Why are they kissing while performing a heart surgery?”, Cas said.

Dean laughed. “Soap Operas, man. It’s a metaphor. They love each other.”

“It seems impractical.”

“Don’t question my soaps.” Dean looked so defensive that Castiel kissed Dean’s cheek. And it came so natural. But his heart beated like a jackhammer after because now Dean was looking at him with wide eyes and their faces were so close. 

“Mom said dinner is ready!”, Sam broke into the room, breaking the spell Dean had him over. Dean quickly removed his arm and jumped off the bed, clearing his throat. 

He smiled weakly at Castiel. “Let’s eat.”

 

**_Dean_ **

 

His cheek wasn’t supposed to be tingling. He wasn’t supposed to want to kiss Cas. He was supposed to want to kiss girls. Girls like Lisa Braden, like Carrie Windor. 

Not someone like Castiel Novak. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Castiel was certain that Dean’s dad hated him. He looked at Castiel like he was dirt on the floor. He could feel Mr. Winchester’s eyes on him throughout dinner.

What was worse was the awkward air between him and Dean.

 It was the little things throughout dinner that made Castiel want to run. Sam and Dean bickering over the mashed potatoes. Dean’s mom and dad smiling at each other over their water glasses that would remind Castiel of when his mom and dad would do the same. 

 Sam talked to Castiel, reminding him of Anna. Full of energy and eager to learn. Mature for his age. They talked about Gatsby. It eased Castiel’s mind to know that at least Sam and Dean’s mom liked him. For some reason, it was important to get Dean’s family to like him.

 “So, Castiel,” Mrs. Winchester- _ Mary-  _ said. “What brings you to our small town?”

 “My mom died and Uncle Zachariah took me in.” He wanted her to change the topic. He didn't want her to ask how she died or did he have siblings. He knew it would lead to him embarrassing Dean by crying. And probably making Dean’s dad hate him more. 

 “You’re Pastor Zachariah’s nephew?”, his dad asked, finally looking up at him. He looked at Castiel as though he was just looking through him. 

 “Yes.”

 “Why has he never mentioned you before?”

And Castiel felt his insides freeze. There was an obvious answer and he was pretty sure the whole town knew. He hated small towns; secrets were never secrets here. He was pretty sure Dean’s dad knew. 

Castiel shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “I don’t know.”

“Cas loves Stephen King, dad.”, Dean added in, squeezing Castiel’s fingers. Castiel bit his lip to hide his smile. “Your favorite author.”

“Is that so?” He gave Castiel an uninterested look and went back to his chicken. 

+++

After dinner, Castiel decided not to stay for dessert, saying he was past his curfew. 

“I could drive you home”, Dean said, following him to the front door.

Castiel shook his head, feeling tears sting his eyes. He shouldn’t let people get to him but Dean’s dad did. “I’ll walk. It’s only a few blocks away. I’ll be fine.”

They stood in front of the front door, staring at each other. Cas was sure Dean was working up the courage to do something. 

Dean licked his lips and Castiel’s breath hitched in his throat.

“Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight,Dean.”

  
  


**_Dean_ **

  
  


“Are you dating Castiel?”. Sam asks, flipping through one of Dean’s Vonnegut books. 

Dean almost breaks his pencil. “No.”

“It’s just that i heard rumors and you invited him to dinner so i though-”

“Just friends, bitch.”

“You know mom won’t care right?’

“Sam-”

“It’s just-it seems that you really like him.”

“As a buddy”

“Dean-”

“I have to do homework, okay?”

“Sure, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments are appreciated :)


	12. Chapter 12

**_Dean_ **

 

Dean can’t look at Cas when he gets on the bus in the morning. Maybe he’s let this go too far if Gabriel and Charlie _ and  _ Sammy thought they were a thing. Normal bros didn't hold hands or kiss each other’s cheeks. They don't stand so close together.

It was all becoming too much. He tried to think of when Cas became so important to him. He remembered thinking it was stupid wearing a suit to school. Cas still wore that bulky trench coat like a second skin. He remembered thinking how weird he was, how gravelly his voice was. How blue his eyes were…

Whatever was between them was weird and he thought of replacing those six inches of space.

But when Cas sat next to him, all smiles and blue eyes, and grabs Dean’s hand, Dean doesn't pull away. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

There’s a new kind of whispering in the halls. Everyone’s looking at Dean and Castiel as they walk from the bus. 

Dean looks down and his eyes widen, snatching his hands out of Castiel’s.

“I’ll see you at lunch, Cas”, Dean mutters, avoiding his eyes.

Cas can barely reply before Dean is disappearing amongst the crowd.  

+++

“No way in hell am I trusting these monkeys to not hit me in the face with a ball”, Chuck whispers.

Coach was announcing that they were going to play dodgeball. The girls were currently arguing, trying to get it to be girl versus boys. He was praying against it. He could already tell the other boys were planning ways to accidentally hit him in the genitals or head or stomach with the ball. 

“Maybe we should feign sickness and go to the nurse”, Cas says, frowning.

“Yeah”, Chuck huffs. “Say we have diahrrea or a hernia.”

 Castiel grins. It was a little easier having Chuck as a friend in gym. The boys seemed to pick on him less when he was around Chuck. “That’s unsanitary.”

“If we were girls, we could say period and he’d send us out, no excuses.”

“They have every right”, Castiel says. “My sister had horrible cramps.”

“Just kidding, Cas.”

Laura is currently yelling, pointing indignantly at the coach who’s wearing a terrified expression on his face. Chuck squints at Castiel. “Hey, Castiel?”

“Yes?”

“Are the rumors true?”

Castiel squints his eyes. “Rumors?”

“You’re dating Dean?”

And Castiel doesn't know how to answer that. What were he and Dean? They held hands and Castiel kissed his cheek. Maybe they were good friends. Maybe they were something else. Castiel wasn’t sure. 

He  shrugged. “I don’t know”, he answers. 

“Okay!”, coach announces. “Boys on this side, Girls on the other. Let’s play!”

Castiel groans. Alistair grinned at him, throwing the ball up and down. 

Son of a bitch. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Alastair is the only one in the boy’s bathroom when Dean enters and he immediately wants to leave. 

“Oh, hello, Winchester.” Alastair says, smirking. He’s leaning against the sink, arms crossed across his chest. “How’s the boyfriend?”

“What?”

“Castiel.” Alastair says his name like it’s something bad in his mouth. His eyebrow quirks up.

“He’s not my boyfriend. I’m not gay.”Alastair laughs, it shots through Dean like a knife. He saunters towards Dean, his lips growing thinner. “Everyone knows, you fag.”

For a second, Dean thinks he’s going to hit him. Alastair’s shoulder lightly brushes against Dean’s as he makes his way out of the bathroom.

Dean sags against the wall. Great, now he was a target. Dean wished he had the cloak of invisibility. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Castiel was constantly surprised whenever Dean held his hand. Every morning without fail. And every afternoon. 

Gabriel is smirking at them, turned around in his seat to face them even though the bus driver is yelling at him to turn around. 

“So, Dean-O, Cas, any new news?”

“No.” Dean says, rolling his eyes. 

“Any fun weekends?”

“No”, Castiel deadpans. It makes Dean crack a smile and he feels something in him lighten.

“That’s cause you never go out, Cas.” Dean says.

“I prefer the indoors, Dean.”

Dean is looking at him so warmly that he’s relieved. Dean isn’t tired of him. He makes a grab for Dean’s hand and Dean pulls back, an empty look in his eyes.

Gabriel doesn't notice. 

“I heard something through the grapevine…”

“Spit it out, Gabriel.”

“Little pda in public between you two…”

“We’re done, Gabriel.” 

“Dean-”

Dean shuts him up with a look. 

He starts chatting about Kali, a girl he likes. Dean rolls his eyes. 

“Just ask her out.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It is that simple.”

“Maybe you could leave her a note in her locker, be her secret admirer”, Castiel suggests. 

Dean groans. “Charlie’s been making you read her romance novels again, hasn’t she?”

“They’re very good.”

“You know Cas, that’s not a bad idea.” Gabriel scrambles for his notebook and pen. “Now, help me come up with some note ideas.”

  
  


**_Dean_ **

 

The next day at school is the worst. 

At least ten people come up to him to ask if he’s dating Cas and  _ omg, when did you join the other team? _

What makes it even worse is that Gabriel, Charlie, or Cas is with him when it happens. Cas’s face falls after every ‘no’. Charlie wears a look of betrayal when they ask, her expression saying why did you lie to me? Gabriel just smirks.

In gym class, Lisa Braden walks up to him with her two best friends that follow her everywhere. She’s wringing her hands and smiling nervously at him. 

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“Is it true?”

His heart drops in his stomach and he has to hide the mask of annoyance. He feigns confusion. 

“That you and Castiel Novak are dating?”, she continues. 

Son of a bitch. Gabriel nudges him, smirking. He refrains from punching him. 

“What?No.”

She looks unconvinced. 

“We’re just buddies. I’m straight.” He wonders why he’s even explaining himself to her. Why he even cares what she thinks? His dad always told him to screw what everyone thinks and here he is, caring

Lisa smiles. “Really?”

He smirks at her. “Absolutely.”

And then she’s blushing, ducking her head. Cute, he thinks. 

“Then, you wouldn’t mind going out on Friday?”

He falters, his smirk weakening. Cas was supposed to come over again. They were going to finish the Doctor Sexy marathon. They got through half of season one, only four more to go. 

_ Just friends don’t bail on dates with a pretty girl to watch a netflix marathon.  _

He finds himself nodding, the smirk back in place. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

She nods. The girls behind her giggling. 

He winks at her before she walks away. 

Gabriel rolls his eyes. “You’re really stupid, Dean.”

“Why?”

Gabriel rolls his eyes harder this time and sighs.

The coach calls class into session. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/Comments are appreciated :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the awesome comments and for the kudos!

**_Dean_ **

 

In order to drive the Impala on his date with Lisa, Dean has to do a test run with his dad. Which is stupid because he’s driven the Impala plenty of times. He even voices that to his dad. 

“I don’t care”, John says. “You’re driving with only a permit. You’re lucky I’m even letting you drive.”

“Yeah, Dean”, Sammy says, looking up from his algebra book, smirking. 

Dean gives him the finger.  

John’s stern gaze is unwavering. Dean sighs. “Fine.”

+++

The ride isn’t going well. Dean is pretty sure it was because of his dad who kept yelling whenever there was red light or when Dean would take a sharp turn which was his dad’s fault in the first place. 

He never drove right when he was with his father. He preferred his mom; she was more gentle with her directions. 

“What’s going on in that mug of yours, boy?”

Dean hated when his dad called him boy. He could hear Sam snickering in the back seat. 

“Shut up, nerd”, he snapped. Why did Sam even come if he was just going to laugh and irritate him? These days, it didn't take that much to irritate him. Cas didn't even speak to him on the bus this afternoon. Maybe it was because of how he denied they were dating which they weren’t. 

“Dean, eyes on the road!”, his dad shouted. 

“They are.” He was trying really hard not to raise his voice at his dad. His dad always told him that you show your parents respect. 

The way Cas looked when he rejected the notion of them dating to someone. It didn't matter. He was dating Lisa now. He was going on a date with her tonight. Cas was just a friend         

“Dean!”

He swerved, avoiding almost hitting the curb. A car honked behind him. 

John’s face was almost red. 

“Park the car, Dean.”

“Dad-”

“Now.”

He parked the car and realized he was in Cas’s street. He wondered what he was doing in there. How sucky it had to be to live with someone who hates you so much. He opened the car door and hopped out of the car. A part of him wanted to knock on that door and watch the rest of Dr. Sexy with Cas. Stupid date be damned. 

“Dean, get in the car.”, his dad barked out. 

His dad was shaking his head as he started up the engine. “Where the hell is your head?”

+++

Dean had to drive the monstrosity that was his mom’s blue van. He pulled up in Lisa’s driveway and didn't feel nervous at all. Sam had teased him for how unenthusiastic he was getting ready for his date. But he insisted he was  just too cool for jitters. 

“Nice car”, Lisa smirks, helping herself into the van. Dean felt like he should’ve been a gentlemen and opened the door for her. 

“It’s my mom’s”, he smirks. 

And she laughs. She’s in tight jeans and an even tighter top and she looks pretty. When he tells her, she grins, ducking her head. It reminds him of Cas in some way. 

He clears his throat. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah.”

+++

“We should see this one”, Lisa says, pointing at a sappy looking poster. She’s holding his hand and it’s just that-a warm hand in his.

Dean smiles at her. “Whatever you want.”

She smiles back, kisses his cheek.

He orders two tickets to a chick flick Charlie would squeal over and make Cas get addicted to next, and they get popcorn.

Throughout the movie, she’s quiet. She doesn’t ask questions. She doesn’t have a confused look when there’s an unrealistic plot point, and suddenly he feels like he’s cheating.

She kisses him in the Impala when they stop in the front of her house. “We should do this again sometime.”

“Next friday?”

She smiles. “There’s a football game that night. What about Saturday? Steve is having a party.”

He thinks of his promise to Cas to watch all the Harry Potter movies next saturday and nods. Saturday would be awesome.

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

It’s a week before Castiel finds out that Dean and Lisa Braeden are officially dating. And honestly, he should’ve seen it sooner.  The way Dean has been so distant and how he doesn’t invite Cas over to watch Netflix. How he cancelled last Friday. How he doesn’t hold his hand anymore.  He would say what hurts the most is Dean not telling him but it hurts the most when he’s walking to AP Biology and he sees Dean kissing a pretty girl by the lockers. 

Dean doesn't see him and he’s glad. His eyes sting and that is the first time he skips a class. 

+++

Charlie finds him in the library. He’s reading The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allen Poe. His eyes have dried now and the only sign of crying is his blotched cheeks and red rimmed eyes. 

“Don’t you have AP Bio with me this period, Cas?”, Charlie says, plopping down on the floor beside him. She smirks at him. “Naughty boy.”

“Should say the same to you, Hermione.”

Charlie beams at the nickname and it makes him feel a tiny bit better. 

“Why’d you skip?”

“Why'd you skip?”, he counters, hiding his face with his book. 

“Touche.”

He grins. 

They sit in silence and he tries to focus on the words. He can feel her waiting for him to say something. 

Eons pass before Charlie lets out a huge sigh and snatch the book out of Cas’s hands. “Charlie!”

“Okay! If I tell you why I skipped, you have to tell me. Deal?”

He hesitates, staring at his hands. “Okay.”

“There was a quiz today and I didn’t study.” 

He doesn’t offer anything, staring at his hands,noticing how short he’s bitten his nails. Charlie knocks her knuckles against his head. “Hey, your turn.”

His eyes start stinging again and he wipes angrily at them,trying to prevent the tears. He feels a hand on his. 

“Hey”, Charlie says. Her voice is gentle. “What’s wrong?”

“I know now  how Hermione felt when Ron kissed Lavender.”

Realization dawns on Charlie’s face. “Dean and Lisa?”

Cas nods. 

“Well, Hermione and Ron ended up together in the end.” Charlie smiled encouraging at Cas, wrapping her arms around him.

“But they’re heterosexual.”

She sighed. “That doesn’t mean anything. Love is love, dude.”

He thinks of all the happy endings he’s read and they’ve all been heterosexual. 

“Dean likes you. He’s just having a crisis.”

“He sucks”, Cas says, sniffling. “I hate feelings.”

Charlie laughs. “Same, my hufflepuff.”

+++

Dean isn’t on the bus that afternoon. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

This was what Dean dreamed about. Going to second base with a pretty girl. They were in Lisa’s room, their shirts discarded on the floor. 

She was so light against his chest, her lips insistent on his, tongue battling with his. Each kiss growing with intensity. 

But he wasn’t as into it. 

She grabbed his hand, bringing it to her breasts. 

He sighed. “Lisa.”

“Yeah”, she said, kissing his neck.

“We should stop. I have to get home”, he lied. 

Lisa stared down at him, disappointed. “It’s only six o’clock, Dean.”

“I know”, he sighed. “I just promised Sammy I would help him with his project tonight.”

“Okay”, she said, getting off him. 

He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head.

He stood awkwardly by the door, watching her pull her shirt over those perky boobs.“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” 

“Yeah”, she said and he knew that tone. She was frustrated with him. 

He couldn’t blame her. He was frustrated with himself, too. This was the second time in the row Dean stopped them from going any further. 

He nodded and left. 

  
  


**_Castiel_ **

 

Lisa stares at Dean in English class. Dean walks Lisa to her next class instead of Cas. 

+++

That afternoon, Dean is sitting in his old spot by the window. 

“Cas”, he smiles. 

“Hello, Dean. I haven’t seen you on the bus for a while.”

His grin falters. “Yeah. Dad’s been teaching me how to drive the Impala.”

“You’re dating Lisa.” And Cas doesn’t mean to say it. He feels like he’s been repeating that phrase so much in his head it just slips out. He has to remind himself that he and Dean were never a couple. He doesn’t have a right to be so upset. 

The silence seems to grow on and thin between them. 

“Yeah”, Dean finally says. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Castiel is one notch away from shouting.  _ You don’t have a right to be upset, _ he reminds himself.

Dean flinches. “I didn’t think it was important.”

“You lied to me.”

Dean’s eyes cloud over. “Why is this such a big deal?”

“You never told me!”

“So”, Dean snaps. “It’s not like we’re together. You’re acting like I cheated on you or something.”

“Maybe you did”, Cas yells. He doesn’t care about being loud now. The whole bus is loud and he doubts anyone is paying attention anyway. 

“Look, man, I’m sorry if you misread me or something. But i’m not a fag.”

All the air whooshes out of Cas. He turns away from Dean, facing the front. 

“Look, Cas, I-”

The bus stops to let a couple of kids off in a neighborhood three blocks away from his. He gets off. 

He hates Dean Winchester, he decides, letting the tears fall. 

He hates him. He hates him. He hates him. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Dean went to bed early that night but he couldn'’t sleep. 

He was an idiot. A dumbass. 

He wished he’d never said it. If his mom knew, she would be disappointed. Gabe already looked at him like he had two heads. As if he didn’t feel like a dick already. 

The look on Cas’s face…

He wanted to hit something. 

His phone beeped and he saw Lisa’s name appear on the screen. He ignored it, slipping on his headphones. Zeppelin’s  _ Whole Lotta Love _ plays and he quickly turns to the next song. 

Why does this feel like a freaking break up?

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Castiel considers not riding the bus the next morning. 

He’ll hav e to suck it up and beg Zachariah to take him to school. But Zachariah is gone when he gets downstairs. 

When he gets on the bus, Dean isn’t in his usual spot. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/Comments are appreciated :)  
> Hellatus has begun!! :( That finale killed me! What did you guys think about it?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in a week! I had already finished this one and couldn't wait another week to update so here you go :)

**_Castiel_ **

 

Now that he knows, it’s impossible not to notice Dean and Lisa everywhere.After he sees that, it becomes impossible not to notice them.  

At the lockers, walking to classes with his arm looped around hers. And the worst part, he eats lunch with them now. 

+++

Charlie glares at the group two tables over. “So he ignores us and now he’s eating lunch with her?”

“And making out in the halls with her”, Gabriel adds. 

Castiel doesn’t add any commentary, choosing to look at his soggy fries instead. He hasn’t spoken to Dean since last week. He carpools with Lisa now.

“Disgusting”, Charlie scoffs. “What dickhead isolates their best friends for a girl?”

“Apparently Dean”, Gabriel says. 

“You okay, Cas?”, Charlie asks, placing a hand over his. 

“I’m fine.”

“No he’s not .I’m gonna sacrifice my other cupcake to you, Cas”, he announces, sliding a chocolate cupcake over to the boy. “Eat up.”

“Thank you.” Cas isn’t fond of cupcakes but he takes a big bite. 

“Feeling better already, huh Cas?”

“Yes.”

Charlie’s eyes light up. “And maybe we can put a charm on you.” She holds out her hand as if she had a wand. “Rictusempra!”

Castiel remembers this and smiles. 

Gabriel squints his eyes. “He’s not laughing yet. I don’t think it worked.”

She holds her imaginary wands out again. “Rictusempra!”, she says with more intensity.

And Cas can’t help but force a laugh. Maybe if he keeps laughing, it’ll become a real one. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

It’s annoying, talking to Lisa’s friends. It was annoying having to spend every moment with her, shopping for homecoming(which she asked him to go with her) or going to one of the stupid football games. Dean hated football games. But that’s what couples did. They held hands and kissed and hung out together all the time. 

Dean knew that it  wasn’t normal to not want to be with Lisa all the time. You were supposed to want to be with your girlfriend all the time. He was starting to get sick of it. The hand holding and the mindless conversations in the lunchroom. 

He hadn’t spoken to Gabriel or Charlie outside of class. He was sure they were mad at him. He missed them. And maybe he missed Cas, too. Cas hadn’t spoken to him since last week. When he called him a _ fag. _ He flinched even thinking of it. 

“Dean?”, Lisa said, nudging his arm. 

“Yeah.” 

She smiled. She had a nice smile. “You alright? It seems like you’re not here sometimes.”

“I’m fine.” He smiled reassuringly at her and kissed her cheek. 

“Great. Still on for Steve’s party saturday?”

“Yeah.”

She leaned in and kissed him. The lunch group groaned and he gives them the finger. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

Friday wasn’t the worst.

Castiel had other friends besides Dean.  He had Charlie and Gabriel and Chuck. He didn’t need Dean. 

Charlie invited Castiel over to her house to watch movies and eat brownies. Gabriel provided the brownies and the multitude of candy bars and the ice cream. 

They watched all the movies in order back to back. He found he liked the books better. Charlie wholeheartedly agreed while Gabriel said the movies were better leading to a heated debate between the two of them about movies vs. the books. 

Cas sat and watched them, amused. It was hopeless to try to intervene.

Charlie promised that next weekend they would watch Star Wars.  Gabriel opted for Dr. Sexy. Castiel never wanted to hear about that television show again. 

He didn't think about Dean Winchester at all.

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Saturday night are usually movie nights so when Dean announces he’s going out, there’s an uproar. 

“What’s so important that you won’t spend time with this family? We were gonna watch Patrick Swayze this week, Dean.” His mom says, waving the Ghost DVD in her hands.

“He’s going out with his girlfriend.” Sam smirks. 

Dean glares at Sam. Sam raises his eyebrows, challenging him to deny it. That little bitch. 

“Yeah. We’re going on a date tonight.”

His mom raises her eyebrows. “And you were just gonna sneak out and not tell us?”

Dean ducks his head.

Mary sighs. “Be back by twelve.”

Dea snaps his head up, surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah but no more missing movie night. And bring Lisa around so I can meet her.”

“Okay.”

“No fair!”, Sam frowns. “What if I wanted to go out on movie night?”

Dean snorts. “With Jessica?”

“Who’s Jessica?”, his mom says. 

“Sam’s girlfriend.”

“What? When did you get a girlfriend?”, his dad grins. 

“Too young”, his mom says, shaking her head. 

“I’m fourteen! And shut up, Dean, Jess isn’t my girlfriend!”

Dean grins. “Aw, he has a nickname for her.”

“Okay, okay. Leave your brother alone, Dean”, his dad laughs. 

“Have fun on your date, honey.” His mom kisses his cheek.

“Can I take the Impala?”

“No”, he dad says. “Take your mom’s car.”

Dean groans. He ruffles Sam’s hair. “Bye, little bugger.”

Sam sulks even more. “God, everything you guys do is unfair.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Saturdays were the worst. 

He didn't go to Dean’s house to watch all the Harry Potter movies like they’d planned a week ago. He stayed home and tried to catch up on required reading(The Scarlet Letter).

He thought about Dean Winchester a lot. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/comments are appreciated :)


	15. Chapter 15

**_Dean_ **

 

Dean spends the entire party wishing he stayed home for movie night. 

The music was too loud and there was to many people in this small house. Whoever picked the music had bad taste(really, Kesha?).  He was navigating his way through the throngs of sweaty people, trying to find where Lisa went off to. 

He jostled into Ash from his calculus class. Beer sloshed over the front of both of their shirts.  Great. 

“Fuck”, the boy slurred, his eyes gazing lazily at the front of his shirt. He spared a glance at Dean before stumbling away. 

Dean sighed and elbowed his way to the bathroom. He wet a few paper towels and scrubbed the front of his shirt. Unfortunately, the beer smell was still there. 

He really hated parties. 

+++

It was almost midnight before Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He waited another thirty minutes for Lisa to take her home because he was a gentlemen. But the music was too loud and there were so many people talking about things he didn't care about and Lisa was nowhere to be found. 

Whatever.Lisa had friends who could take her home. He had a curfew. He grabbed his coat and slipped out of the house, unnoticed. 

He didn't even notice he was driving to Cas’s house until he was there. The white house looming in front of him. 

His uncle’s minivan was in the driveway and of course it was, it was midnight. All the lights were off. 

He knew which room was Cas’s. It was upstairs on the left of the house. Cas had told him on the bus one day- he had the room with the biggest window because he liked to watch the birds. True enough, the curtains were open and Dean felt like a creeper. 

He grabbed some pebbles and started throwing them at the window. He expected it to work, he’d seen it in the movies. 

Three pebbles in and Cas’s face appeared at the window. His eyes widened when he saw it was Dean. 

“What are you doing here?”, Cas said.

“Can I come up?”

Cas opened his window wider. Dean scaled up the ladder besides the window, almost falling on his ass when he landed in Cas’s room.

He smirked. “Hey there.”

“What are you doing here?”, Cas repeated. His tone was almost hostile. 

Dean’s smile dropped. “I missed you.”

“I see you everyday at school.”

“Yeah.” Dean said, flopping on the chair at Cas’s desk. “But you never talk to me anymore.” And maybe it was that one beer he drank but he didn't care that he sounded whiny.

“You smell like beer.”

“I was at a party.”

Cas is silent. He sits down on his bed.

Dean spots CDs on Cas’s desk along with Slaughterhouse-Five and he smiled, liking that Cas was actually reading it. 

“Jonas Brothers and Nickleback”, Dean said, shuffling through the CDs. “Really Cas?”

“Those are  Anna’s.”

“Let’s listen to some.”

“Dean, no. You’re not supposed to be here.”

“You don’t want me to be here?”

Cas sighed and Dean knew he won. “My uncle could hear.”

He shrugged.“Then we won’t play it loud.”

Cas sighed and popped one into his laptop. Dean refrained from commenting on how tapes were better.  _ When you look me in the eyes _ started coming through the speakers. Dean scoffed. 

“What?,” Cas said. “It’s not that bad.”

Dean sits beside Cas. He looked really good in the moonlight and Dean cringed at his cheesy thought. He interlaces their fingers together. Cas doesn't pull away.  Dean’s so relieved at the warmth and the tingles that he never felt when holding hands with Lisa. He’s missed holding hands with Cas on the bus. He’s missed Cas asking stupid questions about books and movies.

“So the season finale of Dr. Sexy was yesterday”, Dean says, rubbing Cas’s palm with his thumb. 

“Great.” Cas says. “Don’t tell me anything. I haven’t even finished season one yet.” There’s a bitterness underlying the words. 

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Ditching you. We were supposed to do a Harry Potter marathon right?”

“I watched them with Charlie and Gabriel.”

“Yeah? What did you think?”

Cas pulls his hand out of Dean’s and crosses his arms. “Why are you here?”

Dean grabs Cas’s hand again, starts playing with his fingers. “I told you why. I miss you.”

He kisses the corner of Cas’s mouth and the boy sucks in a breath. But he doesn’t pull away and his fingers tighten around Dean’s.

He places his hand on Cas’s cheek, turning Cas’s face towards his. He touches Cas’s bottom lips with his thumb to see if he’ll pull away. He doesn’t. Instead, Cas leans in closer. 

When his lips are almost touching Cas’s, Cas shakes his head. His nose rubs against his.

“Dean-”

“It’s fine, Cas.”

He felt his heart thrumming against his chest and has to take a deep breath before he kisses him. 

Dean had always wondered how different it would be to kiss a boy. But it was the same. Lips on lips. But it was also different. Cas’s lips are warm and soft on his. He can feel his heart beating, their chests are so close. He feels warmth pool in his stomach. 

He pulls away to breathe. He forgets how to breathe when he was this close to Cas. Cas’s eyes are so freaking blue up close. 

Cas’s hands grip his shoulders and Dean leans back in. 

He  turns his head making Dean’s lips fall on his cheek instead. 

“Dean. It’s not a good idea to kiss someone when you have a girlfriend.”

“I don’t care.” He leans back in, kissing him again. 

Cas pulls away too early. “You’re drunk. You wouldn’t be kissing me if you weren't.”

“I like you.”

“Then why are you dating Lisa?”

And that was like pouring a bucket of ice water on Dean. 

“You should go,Dean. It’s getting late.”

He nods, grabs his coat and shimmies out of the window. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

When Castiel got to the bus monday morning, Dean is there. He isn’t looking at Castiel and his hands are tangled together on his lap. Castiel can’t stop looking at his lips and looking at those lips means he can’t stop thinking of saturday night. 

He sits down on the farthest corner of the seat and pulls out  _ The Cat’s Cradle _ that Dean let him borrow. 

He’s hyperaware of Dean looking at him but he keeps his eyes on the page. 

Dean pokes his ribs but Cas ignores him. “Cas”, he says. 

Then, he tugs on his sleeve. “Talk to me, please.”

But Cas keeps his eyes on the page. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Cas is still reading even though Dean keeps pulling at his sleeve.

“Cas”, he says, forcing a sly grin.

He pushes Dean’s arm away before Dean can poke him again.

Dean sighs,forcefully closing the book and ripping it out of Cas’s hands,

“I was reading that,” Cas says, staring straight ahead. 

“So he speaks!”

Cas sighs. “Give me my book back, Dean.”

“No. It’s  _ my _ book. I let you borrow it.”

“You said I could keep it as long as I wanted to.”

“Changed my mind.”

Cas nods, goes back to staring straight ahead. Dean feels like Cas is miles away.

“Why are you doing this? I’m sorry about saturday, alright!”

Cas doesn’t answer, clenching his fists.

“Here take the book back. I’m sorry, okay?” He throws the book into Cas’s lap. Cas clutches the book. 

“Dammit Cas!” His voice is rising to shouting levels. He can feel half of the bus’s eyes on him. 

Cas gets up to leave as soon as the bus stops. Dean follows, grabbing his hand once they're off the bus. 

“Let me go, Dean.”

“Well, well..the fairies are in a lover’s spat.” Alastair slurs.

Dean tenses, starts to turn but Cas has a hand on his shoulder. “Leave it alone, Dean.”

Dean shrugs him off.“Yeah, Dean, listen to your bitch.” Alastair smirks. “Or is it you that’s the bitch?”

Dean never understood why so many books claim that the characters see red until this very moment. “I'm sick of your shit, Alastair.”

The boy’s grin widens, sharp as a knife. 

“I have a girlfriend,” Dean snaps.

“Winchester has finally come out, I’m proud.”

“Dean-”

He throws off his backpack and punches Alastair. Alistair is caught off guard, giving Dean leverage. He straddles the boy. “I’m not gay”, he repeats, punching the boy in the face. 

Alastair laughs, his teeth stained red. Dean punches him again, feeling his knuckles split. The crunch of Alastair’s nose is oddly satisfying. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

All Cas can do is stand and watch. Dean seems to have the upperhand but he prays that a teacher comes and breaks it up soon before Alastair starts to do any damage. 

Alastair reaches and headbutts Dean, making the boy fall on the concrete. Cas winces.

He hears Lisa yelling for them to stop. All Cas can do is stand and watch.

“Leave him alone”, Dean pants, kicking Alastair in the jaw. 

The crowd gasps. Alastair springs forward, swinging his fists and clubbing Dean in the head. Cas fears he might be watching Dean’s death.

Castiel runs to get between them but Lisa is already there. Then, one of the teachers. Then, one of the assistant principals. All pushing them apart. 

“Leave Cas alone”, Dean repeats, his face covered in blood. He sags forward and the teacher catches him. 

“Protecting your boyfriend, how cute.” He sneers over at Cas. “I guess Novak is the bitch then.”

Dean lunges at him. The teacher has to wrap two arms around Dean to keep him in place. 

The adults started hoarding them to the building. Cas picked up Dean’s backpack and carried it to his locker. He didn't know if he should give it to Lisa or not. She was nowhere in sight. 

He couldn't stop thinking about how Dean didn’t deny the boyfriend part. 

+++

Dean wasn’t in calculus or English class and he wasn't on the bus after school. Neither was Alastair. Lisa stared at him during English class, a thoughtful look on her face. Cas ignored it. 

Everybody on the bus that afternoon was talking about the fight.  _ Winchester has skills  _ and  _ He’s in trouble now.  _

Cas got off at Dean’s stop. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

He was suspended for three days. 

Alastair was suspended for a week because this was his fifth fight this year. Alistair sneered at him the whole time in the office and Dean now knew he had to watch his back even more. 

Dean’s dad was mad when he picked him up. “What has gotten into you?”, he said, smacking his head despite the fact that he could have a concussion. He didn't. The school nurse said he didn't have to go to the hospital. He had a black eye and  broken nose but he would be fine. 

Dean waited in the office with ice on his face while his dad talked to the principal. Alastair’s parents were nowhere in sight. 

His dad didn't say anything until they were pulling into the driveway. “Your mom is upset with you, by the way.”

His dad was right. When Dean walks in, Mary takes him by the shoulders, dried tears on her cheek. “Really, Dean? Fighting?”

He’d only seen her this mad at his dad before-she threw a book at his dad’s head-but never at him. 

“That’s a waste, Dean! Stupid!” She says, stabbing her index finger into his chest. 

His dad tries to put a hand on her shoulder but she shakes him off. 

“Go get him some ice”, she orders his dad.

She sits Dean down on the couch. “Why were you fighting?”

He shrugs. His dad brings the ice pack and she gently holds it to Dean’s face. “Dean.”

“Alastair was picking on Cas, okay?”

She frowns. “Well, it’s great that you stood up for your friend but violence isn’t the answer.”

“Mom-”

She silences him with a stern look. 

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re grounded.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

When Castiel rang the doorbell, Dean’s dad answered.

“Hello, Mr, Winchester”, he said, trying to smile. “I have Dean’s backpack. He left it at school.”

Dean’s dad looks him up and down like he’s sizing him up. He remembers the time he had dinner here and the disapproving look he had given him. This is ten times worse. 

He walks away before Castiel can say he just wanted to drop off Dean’s things. He leaves the door open and Cas can hear him talking to someone. “It’s that boy again...come on, John, it’s Dean’s friend…” And, “Just a few minutes, John..”

“I just wanted to drop off his things. I don’t mean to intrude”, he says when Mary appears, opening the door wider. 

She smiles. “Nonsense. You’re welcome here, Castiel.” She gives him a hug. “Come on, I know Dean wants to see you.”

He follows her through the living room where John is nursing a beer and down the short hall to Dean’s room. 

Mary knocks softly on Dean’s door then peeks in. “Hey, hon. Someone’s here to see you.”

She  opens the door wider  for Cas then walks away, squeezing Cas’s shoulder. 

Dean’s room is the same as the last time. Neat bed. CDs and DVDs placed neatly in  a shelf near his bed. Books in a stack on his desk. 

Dean is on his bed, propped on his elbows when Cas walks in. Cas gasps when he sees his face. It's so much worse than earlier. His eye is swollen shut.

“Hey Cas.” He tries to smile but winces. 

“Hello, Dean.” He holds up Dean’s backpack. “I have your backpack.”

“Thanks.”

Cas nods, holding on to the bag, wavering in the doorway.

“You’re just gonna stand there.”

“Um, no.” Cas steps fully into the room and puts Dean’s backpack on the chair of his desk. 

Dean pats the spot beside him on the bed. “Come here.”

Cas hesitates before crawling on the bed besides Dean. 

“Are you okay?”, Cas asks, eyeing his nose. It’s purple and swollen. It’s painful just looking at it. 

Dean nods, his eyes closed, leaning his head on the headboard. 

“I’m sorry”, Dean says after a moment of silence. 

Cas doesn’t ask why. 

“I ruined us, didn't I?”

“No”, Cas says. 

Dean snorts then winces. He reaches for Cas’s hand and interlaces their faces. Castiel doesn't pull away. “I’m so freaking stupid.”

“Yes”, Cas says. 

Dean laughs and winces again. “Jerk.” He squeezes Cas’s fingers. 

“Why’d you fight him?”

“For you.”

“No, you didn't.”

Dean stays silent and that’s answer enough. 

“I'm sorry”, he says again. Tears slip out of his swollen left eye and slips down his cheek. Cas wants to wipe them away. 

“It’s okay.”

“No,it’s not”, Dean says. 

Desperate to get that broken look off of Dean’s face, Cas jokes, “You might have permanently damaged your face so you won’t be as attractive anymore.”

“You think I’m attractive?”

“No.” Cas grins. 

Dean is leaning too close to him and Cas thinks he’s going to say something or maybe he’ll kiss him. 

Then, Lisa comes in. 

She pauses when she sees Cas. “Oh, I can come back.”

“No, I was about to leave”, Cas gets up. 

Dean doesn’t say goodbye. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos/Comments are appreciated! Thank you for reading :)


	16. Chapter 16

**_Dean_ **

 

Castiel is gone before Dean can say goodbye. He stares at the closed door, trying to delay the imminent conversation. 

Lisa perches on the side of Dean’s bed, wringing her fingers. It’s quiet, so quiet Dean could pinpoint the exact moment that Cas leaves, the front door clicking shut. He can hear his mom saying bye. 

Dean closes his eyes, leaning his head against the headboard. “Hey, Lis.”

“Why’d you fight Alistair?”, she says, getting straight to the point. “Because I know it wasn’t about me.”

“He was saying stuff and I put him in his place.”

“About what?” And the way she says it, the way she’s looking at him-she knows. 

He stays silent and closes his eyes again. His head is throbbing. He wasn’t due for Advil for two more hours. 

“Do you want to know what I think?”

No, he thinks. “Sure”, he says. 

“Alastair was right. You were defending your boyfriend.” She spits out the word ‘boyfriend’ like it’s a bitter taste in her mouth. 

“He’s not my-”

“Was I a cover up, Dean?”

“No! Why would you think that?”

She shakes her head. “See, I just don’t believe you.”

“You can trust me-”

“You two were holding hands just a few minutes ago, mashed up like you were one person. And the way you look at him..”

“Lis.”

“I think you should stop being a coward.”

“I’m not gay”, he protests, weakly.

“Maybe you’re not. But you like Castiel Novak.”

Dean closes his eyes again and when he opens them, Lisa is gone. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Dean was suspended until Monday. No one bothered him the next day. Except for some “accidental” pushes from Alastair’s demons in gym class. 

It was the second day of Dean being suspended that the rumors started. By that second day, everyone knew that Dean Winchester fought Alastair Malum because of Castiel. By that second day, everyone knew that Lisa and Dean were no longer together. 

Castiel was bombarded with questions. In the halls, everyone whispered and stared. “Is it true?”, a kid asked in English class after Dean’s name was called on role. “No”, Castiel said. _ Yes, _ he wished he could say. 

The whole day he was on autopilot. Lisa and Dean’s breakup bouncing in his head. Was it because of me? ,he wondered like all the rumors suggested.  But he smashed that thought down. Thoughts like that were dangerous. Thoughts like that brought disappointment.

 

**_Dean_ **

  
  


Day one of his suspension and he feels like he’s drowning in boredom. His eye isn’t looking any better either.

“How long am I grounded?”, Dean asked his dad. 

John shrugged. “Ask your mom.”

He rolled his eyes. “She says until I’m a hundred and one.”

“Well, then that’s that.” He winks at Dean.

Dean groans, slumping into the couch. They were watching wrestling and he wasn’t as into it as he usually was. He broke up with Lisa but Cas was on his mind. He hadn’t seen him since he walked out yesterday. He’s been cooped up at home and this made him regret wishes to never go to school again. At least school gave him something to do. At least school gave him an excuse to see Cas. 

“So that girl that stormed out a few days ago..”, John starts, glancing at Dean.

“Ex-girlfriend.” And the word doesn’t even hurt. He felt good saying it. Guilt stormed in him. 

Dean’s dad is silent, watching Gunner Lawless slam an opponent down. He knows that the conversation is far from over. He fiddles with the edge of his shirt waiting for the inevitable question. 

“Is it because of that boy, Casper?”

Dean rolls his eyes for the third time today. “Castiel, dad.”

“Yeah, him. Is it because of him?”

“No.”

“If you’re gay now..”

“Is who gay now?”,his mom says, carrying two big grocery bags. Dean hops up to help her, dread curdling in his stomach. Hiis mom had impeccable timing. 

“Hey, mom”, he says, kissing her cheek. 

Dean’s dad welcomes his mom with a tongue kiss. He makes an exaggerated groan as he hauls the bags to the kitchen. 

“Dean wants to know how long he’s grounded.”

“Until I say so”, his mom says. 

“Mom. I want to visit someone and I can’t do that if i’m grounded.”

“Visit who?”

“Someone”, Dean says, pulling out the grocery. He sees apple pie. Sweet. 

“Castiel?”, his mom says. He doesn’t have to see their expressions to know that his mom is wearing a smirk while his dad is frowning. 

His silence is answer enough to his mom.   
“You can see him at school on monday”, his dad says at the same time his mom says, “Sure.”

His dad stares at his mom, betrayed. 

“ So I can go?”

“If you finish your chores then you can go Friday”, she says. “You’re still grounded, though.”

Dean grins, hugs his mom. 

He does those chores. 

 

+++

 

That night, his mom and dad are fighting again. Dean blasts his music higher than normal and Sam slept in his room that night. 

  
  


+++

 

The next few days of his suspension blurs on with reruns of Dr.Sexy and leftover pie. His eyes go from purple to yellow.  Charlie comes over the day his eye finally turns yellow. She’s lying beside him, facing when he wakes up. 

“Morning!”, she chirps, much too loud for early into the morning. Her smile is bright and smug. 

He groans. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have school?”

She scrunches up her face. “Woah,morning breath.”

Dean blows his breath in her face and she crosses her arms in her face to block it. “Jerk. Maybe you are a slytherin after all.” 

He grins and sits up. Charlie follows suit. “Gabe is downstairs eating all of the waffles by the way.”

Dean nods, rolling his eyes.

“Rumor has it you fought Alastair for Castiel’s honor and then Lisa broke up with you.”

“Rumors are correct”, he says, not bothering to hide when it came to Charlie. She would see right through it anyway and he was tired. 

“Are you okay? The way you guys never let each other breathe, I thought you were really into each other.” 

Dean rolls his eyes at the sarcastic remark.“Sorry.”

“That didn’t sound sincere.”

He rolls his eyes. 

She lays her head on his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

“You like him, don’t you?” 

Dean sighs. She gets right to business. 

“It’s okay”, she says. 

“I’m gonna visit him today”, he says.

“Good.” She smiles. “Go get your boy.”

“He’s-” But it makes no sense to protest. 

She hops out of bed and starts pulling on Dean’s arm. “We need to head down before Gabe eats every sweet thing in your house.” 

That breaks the solemn mood and Dean laughs, following her downstairs. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)


	17. Chapter 17

**_Dean_ **

 

There were no bruises on his mom when he came downstairs for breakfast. He always made sure to check after every fight though he hoped and knew his father wouldn’t lay a hand on her. He breathed a sigh of relief and kissed his mom on the cheek. 

“So, what’s your plan?”, Charlie asked, grabbing a waffle off the center of the table. Sam raised his eyebrows. 

Dean shrugged. “Gonna apologize.”

“That’s it?”  Her bitchface could rival Sam’s.

He snagged a piece of bacon off of Sam’s plate and took a big bite. “Yup.”

“Wait, what am I missing?”, Gabe said, carrying a piece of pie with him to the table. 

Dean glared at him.“Really, Gabe? The last piece of pie?”

He just smiled in return.

“Dean is gonna go talk to Cas.”

“Lovebirds, you two.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “We’re not-”

“Shut up, yes you are.”

His mom glanced at him, grinning. He groaned. “Don't you guys have school? Go to school.”

“Okay, dad”, Charlie grumbled. She kissed his cheek. “Have fun apologizing.”

Gabe winked at him before taking his pie to go. 

 

+++

 

Dean’s heart was in his throat as he stood on Castiel’s doorstep, the first two Star War movies in hand. There were five cars outside on Cas’s lawn. He could hear murmuring inside. He took a deep breath before knocking.

Please be Cas. Please be Cas.

And of course, it wasn't Cas. His uncle answered the door and the slight smile on his face transformed into a grimace. Zachariah looked at Dean like he was gum on the bottom of his shoe. 

“May I help you?”

“Uh, yeah. Is Cas here?”

“Castiel is busy.”

“I just need to talk to him.”

Zachariah laughed without humor. “He doesn't want to talk to you. He’s doing revelations right now.”

Before Dean could say anything else, the door slammed in his face. 

Plan B, Dean thought.

He starts climbing the little wall ladder and checks if Cas’s window is open. It is. Awesome. Cas is there, lying on his bed, reading a book. Dean makes a thump when he lands in and Cas snaps his head in his direction. 

Dean grimaces, getting up with a groan. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry”, he breathes. “I was wrong about everything.”

“Dean.”

He walks closer to Cas and sits down on the edge of his bed. Cas sits up. “I’m sorry”, he repeats.

“For what?”, Cas asks.

“For being a jerk. For dating Lisa when I really liked you instead.” He grabs Cas’s hand, interlacing their fingers and as corny as it sounds, it feels like home. “Lisa was nothing to me. And you...you’re everything. I like you, Cas.”

“Okay.”

Cas is smiling, his lips turned up a little at the corners. 

Dean kisses him. 

 

Dean stayed in Cas’s room until nighttime. Until they were both tired. Until their eyes were tired from the glow of Cas’s laptop and their lips were swollen from kissing. 

“Call me tomorrow”, Dean said, their foreheads pressed together. 

Cas tilted his head. “Why can’t I come visit?”

“I’m grounded until I’m a hundred and one years old.”

Cas smiled. “Maybe I’ll sneak into your room.”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll see you Monday.”

Dean grinned. “Can’t wait.”

 

+++

 

Dean couldn't go to sleep that night. He laid in bed, star-eyed, replaying today’s events. He wait until the next day to call Cas. He called him around midnight, hoping Castiel would be awake.

The ringing seemed to go on for agonizing hours before he answered. 

“Hi”, Cas answered, his voice sleepy and gruff. Dean smiled, he could picture Cas with his grumpy puppy expression. 

“Hi”, Dean breathed. 

“Hi”, Cas repeats. There’s a stretch of silence before he says: “It’s midnight.”

“Yes it is.”

Dean laughed. 

“What?”

“I don't know.”

There’s more silence.

“Should I hang up and let you sleep?”, Dean says.

“No.” His voice soft now. 

“Okay. So what are you doing?”

“Lying down.”

“Cool.”

“It’s actually quite warm in my room.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “It’s a saying, Cas.”

“Oh. Cool.”

Dork, Dean thinks, smiling. His cheeks are hurting from smiling. He starts humming a song to fill the silence. 

“What song is that?”, Cas says. 

“Hey, Jude. It's from The Beatles. My mom used to sing it to me when I was little.”

“Sing more”, Cas says. 

And Dean does. He sings the whole song. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

The song is lovely. Dean’s deep voice almost lulls Castiel back to sleep. 

“Cas?”

He nodded his head. 

“Still there?”

He nodded his head again before realizes Dean couldn't see him. “Yes”, he said.

“What are you thinking?”

“That I’m tired.”

Dean laughed and Cas smiled, glad to get that reaction out of him. 

He was silent. Cas listened to him breathing. It was as calming as the song he sang. 

“I miss you.” Dean says suddenly. 

“I’m right here. I just saw you today.”

“No. I still miss you. I miss holding hands with you, being on the bus and in math class with you. I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that.”

“I am.”

“Okay. i forgive you.”

“And I meant it when I said I liked you.”

Cas closed his eyes and breathed in deep, letting it out slowly. Dean had picked Lisa over him before.  _  But he kissed you stupid _ , Cas reminds himself. “Why do you like me?”

 

**_Dean_ **

 

He felt his heart drop. He was asking him to explain something he didn't even know himself. 

“I don't know. I don't like you. I need you”, he says, expecting Cas to laugh in his face and hang up on him. He would deserve it. He knew that. 

But Cas was silent on the other end. Dean got up, started pacing in his little room. 

“I need you”, he repeated. “And I don't know. I just do. When I was with Lisa, all I could do was think about you and I missed you all the time. I still miss you even though I know I’ll see you on monday. Anyway, I would watch movies with her and she would be silent and not ask a single question and all I could think about was that you would have so many questions that I wouldn't be able to enjoy the movie-not that that’s a bad thing. It’s good. I like your curiosity and how you seem like you’re from a different era or another planet. I like your weirdness. I like how you didn't know what Harry Potter was but now you’re a total nerd. You’re so awesome, Cas and so smart. And you’re so unpredictable… and I just like you, okay?”, he finishes. 

He waits for Cas to say something, anything. But Cas is silent. He doesn't even sound like he’s breathing.

“Gonna say anything?”, he says. 

“What should I say?”

“Something so I don’t feel like an idiot.”

“Don't feel like an idiot, Dean.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “I feel so much better.”

“You’re welcome.”

He smiles. Cas really should stop hanging around his friends. 

“I like you, too,” Cas says.

He smiled. He felt something warm in his heart. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“I like you, too.”

“Yeah”, Cas said. He could picture him smiling, his blue eyes shining and crinkled. With his messy bed head, Cas probably looked awesome right now. 

“Why do you like me?”, he says.

“Because you’re kind and you’re smart even though you don't think you are.”

“Not because of my good looks”, Dean interjects. 

“You’re very beautiful, Dean.”, Cas says, matter of fact. “Your eyes are the perfect shade of green, like the lollipops Gabriel likes to eat.”

“Okay”, Dean says, his cheeks tinging with red. He was glad Cas couldn’t see him. He felt like a blushing schoolgirl. Sammy would never let him live this down if he was here. 

“Okay”, Cas repeated. 

Dean lied down on his bed, closing his eyes, listening to Cas breathe. 

Dean heard muffled sounds from Cas’s end of the line. He suspects it's Zachariah. 

“I have to go. Good night, Dean”, Cas says,his voice clipped. 

“Good night,Cas. I’ll see you monday”

He can hear Cas smile. “I’ll be the one in the trench coat.”

He hangs up. 

  
  
Monday morning, Dean sits next to Cas on their spot on the bus, and Cas interlaces their fingers together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!! It finally happened!! This chapter was the hardest for me to churn out but it was worth it! Stay tuned for next week. Kudos/Comments are appreciated! Thanks for reading :)


	18. Chapter 18

**_Castiel_ **

 

When Castiel saw Dean making his way towards their seat on the bus, he had to bite his lip from giggling. Actually giggling. He felt like that morning cartoon Dean made him watch where their eyes turn into hearts and their hearts pop all the way out of their chests. He felt like everyone could see it. It was wonderful. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

When Dean walked towards their seat on the bus Monday morning, he wished they were the only two people on the bus so that he could run to him and kiss him right there. He felt like everyone could see how obvious he was. It was kinda awesome. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Dean’s freckles stood out when the sun hit his face through the bus’s window. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Cas’s eyes were bluer than the sky. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Their fingers stayed laced together throughout the entire bus ride to school. They talked about Cat’s Cradle and how they should change their religion to Hokonism. But it was an excuse to look at the other’s lips. It seemed like they were lip reading. 

Dean kept laughing, his smile radiant. 

Gabe left them alone. For once, neither of them cared about what the people on the bus might think. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

It was so obvious during lunch that something had changed between the two of them. Cas didn't like PDA in school but that didn't stop Dean from touching some part of Cas. His shoulder, his hair, his hands. Dean liked Cas’s hair the best-it felt like silk. And his hands, too. They were soft and slender. Cas had nice hands. In engineering class, he almost drove a nail through his finger because he was looking at Cas’s adorable frown as he worked. 

During lunch, Charlie and Gabe are looking at them both with a knowing smirk. He knows they notice how close their sitting and how they’re only eating with one hand. He lasts all but two seconds before he snaps. “What?”

Her grin widens. “I take it Friday went well.”

“Yeah. So?”

She squeals, hopping up and down in her seat. Some students look over at them. 

“Jesus, calm down Charlie.”

“Can’t make me.” She turns towards Gabe. “You owe me twenty bucks. Pay up.”

Gabe groans, forking over the money. “You couldn't have had your gay panic for one more week? Really Dean?”

Dean smirks. “Karma for eating my pie.”

Gabe rolls his eyes, grumbling under his breath. 

“So you’re boyfriends now, right?”, Charlie says, her eyes bright and eager. 

Dean glances at Cas then grins. “Sure.”

Dean just might lose his hearing from Charlie’s squealing. 

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Dean’s mom was ecstatic when she saw Cas. Even more ecstatic when Dean introduced Cas as his boyfriend. She gripped him tight. “I knew it would work out,”, she said, grabbing his face and kissing his forehead. Her eyes held so much warmth it almost made Cas cry. 

Sam mock gagged next to him. “Please don’t be gross in front of me.”

Dean smirked then laced their fingers together, kissing Cas on the corner of his mouth. “Gross like this?”

Sam groaned. 

“Alright, stop scarring your brother”, she said, slapping Dean on the shoulder with her towel. 

“Well, Cas and I are going up to my room to study so..bye.” Dean yanks Cas up two steps before his mom yells, “Door stays open!”

Dean groaned but he left the door open. 

They both plopped on Dean’s bed and he grabbed the remote, flipping channels until Dr. Sexy is on screen. Cas glances at him, one corner of his mouth slightly lifted. “We’re not going to study for the test next week, are we?”

“Nope. We’re gonna finish educating you on all things Dr.Sexy.”

“Of course.”

He smirks then grabs his math book, putting it on their legs. He wraps his arm around Cas’s shoulders, drawing him closer. “There. If she looks in, we’ll just look down at the book.”

“Genius.” Cas rolls his eyes. 

“Shh.” He leans in close to Cas, presses their lips together in a chaste kiss.

Cas pulls away. “Dean.”

“Live a little, Cas.” He smiles, a wicked gleam in his eye. Cas sighs, that grin is dangerous. 

“Fine-” Before he could get the word out, Dean is kissing him. Cas doesn't complain. 

Five minutes, Sam is going into Dean’s room to announce dinner’s ready. “Ugh! Dean!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for next week! Kudos/comments make me :)


	19. Chapter 19

**_Castiel_ **

 

Mary said that if they were going to hang out all the time after school, they would have to do homework. They studied in the kitchen while his mom made dinner to make sure they were “actually studying”. She winked in Castiel’s direction. “I trust you,Cas. Just not my son.”

Dean rolled his eyes, grumbling as he pulled out his Calc book for them to share.

“Your mom’s probably right, Dean”, Cas said, pulling out his notebook and pencil. “We do have the test tomorrow and we haven’t studied at all.”

“Psh. How do you know if I haven’t studied?”

Cas shot him a bullshit look. “I’m with you every day, Dean.”

Dean’s cheeks tinged red. “Yeah. You’re not sick of me yet?”

“Maybe.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Okay, Jokester, let’s go over logarithms.”

  
  


Actual studying lasted all but five minutes before Dean started getting bored. He slid his feet up Cas’s shin. 

“Really, Dean?”

Dean smirked, looking down at his textbook.

A second past before he felt Dean kicking his foot lightly. He ignored him, trying to focus on a particularly hard question. 

Dean closed the textbook between them and Cas looked up. “What?”

Dean smirked. “We should make out.”

“Dean!” Cas looked around and found that Mary was nowhere in sight. 

“She’s not here. You’re so busy being nerdy that you didn't hear her saying she’s making a run to the grocery store.”

Cas felt his cheeks warm.

Dean lightly kicked his feet.”Let’s make out.”

His cheeks flamed. And Dean grinned, going to sit on Cas’s side of the table. He cupped Cas’s cheek, running his thumb over his bottom lip. He raised his brow. 

“Let’s make out”, Cas said, a little breathy. 

Dean pressed their lips together, softly at first. But Cas wasn’t patient. He ran his tongue along Dean’s bottom lip and Dean opened his mouth. He pressed even closer to Cas, fitting his hands into Cas’s hair. Cas’s hands went around Dean’s waist pulling him even closer. Cas found that close wasn’t close enough. Cas felt warmth pool in his stomach. 

He pulled away to breathe,pressing his forehead against Dean, their lips still touching. Their breathing was harsh. Dean pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “Hi”, he said.

Cas smiled. “Hi. I like making out with you.” 

Dean laughed. “Yeah. We should do it again sometime. Friday at six sound good?”

Cas looked at him.

“It’s a joke.”

“Oh.”

He nuzzled his nose against Cas’s. “Dork.”

Cas narrowed his eyes. Dean grinned, kissing him again. 

The sound of the door closing made them jump apart. They quickly started to work on their next questions. Mary appeared with a brown bag of groceries. “Hey,boys. Dinner will be ready soon. Cas, are you staying for dinner?”

“Um, not tonight. Thank you, Mary.” He was already pushing his luck by being here everyday. And he didn’t want to endure the awkward dinner with John glaring at him( he still didn't know Dean and him were dating).  

She smiled at the mention of her name. “Okay. But one day, you’re gonna stay for dinner again, right?”

Cas smiled back at her. “Of course.”

 

**_Castiel_ **

 

Alastair’s crew left him alone during gym. No one bothered him all this week. 

On Friday, Cas wondered why. 

“I think they’re lost without their head bulldog”, Chuck says. They were the last ones in the locker room. Chuck hated changing around the guys.

“Maybe,” Cas says. “Or they ran out of tasteless jokes.”

He opened his locker. It was empty. Cas frowned. He opened the locker above his then the lockers in his row. He took a deep breath, trying not to panic. Of course this would happen. Just because everything else in his life was going fairly well didn't mean the bad would stay away. Just because Alastair was suspended didn't mean Cas should’ve stopped watching his back.

“Why are you not dressed yet? It’s pizza Friday!”, Chuck says, packing his gym clothes in his backpack. 

“I can’t find my clothes.”

“Crap. I’ll go get Coach.” 

“No, it’s-” But Chuck is already gone. The words die on his lips. He goes through the bottom row, trying not to panic. Maybe they just placed them in another locker. 

“What’s going on?”, Coach says. 

“Someone took my clothes.”

“Those little pricks”, Coach sighs. He starts searching the top lockers. Chuck searches the bathroom area and Cas searches the trash. 

“I found them,” Chuck calls out. His tone worries Castiel. He walks into the bathroom with Coach. The floor was wet. Chuck looks at Cas apologetically. “I’ll get you a bag”, Coach says, pushing past Cas. 

He looks down at the toilet. He knew what he was going to see but he still wasn’t prepared for the sight. His clothes. His favorite trench coat were stuffed in the bowl, water flowing over the edge. Cas just stared at the clothes, numb. 

“You can go to lunch. You don’t have to stay.”

He hovers at the stall. “You sure?”

Cas nods. “I’ll be fine.”

“Here”, Coach says, handing Cas a black plastic bag. 

He pulls out his trench coat, his eyes watering. That was his favorite coat, he wore it every day. It was a security blanket. Chuck held the bag for him. The trench coat made a wet plop when he stuffed it in the bag. 

“You’ve gotta stand up to these boys”, Coach says. “The longer you let them do this, the worse it’s gonna get.”

“Okay”, Cas says, blinking the tears away. He wrings his shirt and jeans. 

“I’ll give you a pass to guidance”, Coach says. Chuck hands him the bag.

“I don't need one.”

Coach sighs. “Do you need a pass,too, Shirley?”

Chuck nods. 

As soon as Cas and Chuck part ways, the tears come. He slumps down in the deserted hall, letting them fall. God. That was his favorite coat. He wore it as a security blanket. And now it was tainted. They would know it was. He probably couldn't wear it again. He could picture them laughing and telling Alastair all about it. He couldn't get on the bus today. But who would pick him up? He could walk home. He didn't want to face them.

But it’s just what they wanted. Cas knew that showing weakness was what they wanted. 

He should’ve known Dean would find him. The school was only so small.

“Hey, Cas, you okay?”He grabs Cas by the shoulders.

Cas nods, his eyes glistening. “Yeah.”

Dean searches his eyes. His eyes soften. “No, you’re not.”

“Dean-”

“Tell me what happened, please.”

“Some boys stole my clothes. It ‘s okay, it happens sometimes.”

Dean’s eyes flash with anger. “Cas, you can’t let people do this to you. Jesus.”

“Dean-”

“No, Cas. We’re gonna go to Mrs. Carver about this.” He grabs Cas’s  hand, pulling him up.

Cas yanks his hand away. “No, Dean.”

“Cas, if you don't report this, they’re gonna keep doing it.”

“Or they’re going to do worse if I do report it.”

“Cas-”

“No”, he says, louder and stronger this time. “Just leave it alone.”

“I won't.”

“Well then, I’m sorry for you, Dean.” He sidesteps him, going towards the library, dignity in tact. 

Cas skips class for the second time in his schooling history. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Cas isn’t on the bus after school. And he doesn't answer his phone. He went to bed early.Dean sulks in his room, listening to sad Elvis Presley songs. 

His mom knocks softly on the door before peeking in. “Dinner’s ready.”

Dean nods. “I’ll be there.”

“You two get into a fight?”, his mom says.

Dean shrugs. 

“Okay.” She closes the door. 

 

“Where’s Cas? You two break up or something?”, Sam asks at dinner. Dean winces.

“Break up?”, his dad says, his expression unreadable. 

Sam’s face falls. “I was joking.” He looks down at his chicken, shooting Dean an apologetic look. 

“Cas went home sick”, he says, avoiding his dad’s eyes. His face flushes. 

“What did you mean by break up, Sammy?”, his dad says. Dean can feel his eyes on him.

“Nothing.”

“Dean?”

He feels his dad’s eyes burning a hole in his head. He can picture his dad, throwing something if he found out. He thinks of Cas, of how he would feel if he lied. Then again, his uncle probably doesn't know about them. And he doesn't hide it at school, that should count for something. It shouldn’t matter if he didn't tell his dad. 

“Nothing”, he mutters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for next week :)


	20. Chapter 20

Castiel

It was already a pretty rough day and he thinks that his uncle could smell it on him. Zachariah was waiting for him in the living room, like he could sense it and wanted to make it worse.  
“Castiel, take a seat.”, his uncle says.   
Castiel sits in the love seat far away from his uncle.   
“I ran into Lilith Baker at the store today”, his uncle said. And Cas knew where this was going before it even started. His blood ran ice cold. “She’s Alastair’s mother. You would know her if you went to church.”  
“She has a son that graduated-Lucifer.”  
“Okay..”  
“Well, he’s running this church camp and I think-”  
“No.”  
Zachariah glares. “You know, I knew what sins you performed and I still brought you in. I can kick you out on the street but I keep you here because no one else wanted to take you in.”  
Cas stays silent.   
“And hanging around that boy is going against God’s will-”  
“Stop.”   
“And that winchester boy will probably leave you once a pretty girl walks by.”  
“Stop!”  
“You’re an abomination!”  
Castiel’s eyes are burning. He stands up stiffly.   
“You know, God punished you by having your mother pass away!”  
And that’s it. Castiel storms out of the living room, tears streaming. 

Dean

It’s much too late for Dean’s phone to be ringing at three o’clock in the morning. He groans, rolling over to grab his phone. He squints at the bright light, the phone displaying Cas’s face. It might be his favorite picture of Cas, showcasing his adorable confusion at Dean taking a photo of him.   
“Yeah, Cas?”, he says, his voice rumbled with sleep.  
“Dean.”  
The rawness of his voice wakes Dean right up. “Cas? What’s up?”  
“Just wanted to hear your voice.”  
He rolls his eyes at the cheesiness of that statement. “Well, you've heard it. Now what’s wrong?”  
“I’m okay”, his voice cracks.   
Dean’s already pulling on his pants and boots. “No, you’re not. I’m coming over.”  
“Dean, you don’t-”  
“No if, ands, or buts, Cas. I’m coming. Leave your window open.”

+++

Dean slides through the window easily, from weeks of practice. Cas is lying on his back, hands on his stomach and there’s something so broken and small about him. Dean gathers Cas on his chest.   
“What’s wrong?”  
Cas doesn't answer, drawing circles on Dean’s chest. Dean waits.   
“Dean, is this relationship satisfactory?”, Castiel said,looking at him with worried eyes.   
Dean’s eyebrows furrowed. “What? Of course it is. I like you.”  
“But i’m not a female.”  
“I know that.”  
Cas ducked his head. “If Lisa wanted to re-enter a relationship with you, would you take up her offer?”  
A lightbulb went on in his head. He set his forehead against his. “Hey, nothing before you counts. I can’t imagine an after.”  
Cas shook his head. “You’ll probably get sick of me.”  
Dean felt his heart in his throat. “No, I won’t. You...you’re it for me, Cas. I can’t imagine not being with you.”  
Cas’s eyes refused to meet his. “Let’s not think about that.”  
“Cas..” His eyes remained trained on his hands. “Cas, look at me.”  
When Cas’s eyes met his, they were glassy. Dean could see unshed tears. His heart broke. “Why does everyone leave, Dean?”  
“Hey”, he placed both hands on Cas’s cheeks, bringing their faces so close their lips touched as they talked. “You’re amazing. I won’t leave you. There won’t be an after. ”  
“What if there is?”  
Dean shook his head. “No. Lots of people stay together. Lots of people ever have an after. My mom and dad.” He laughed. “They’ve been together since they were eighteen.”  
“We’re not eighteen. And we’re two boys...”  
“No,Cas. It’s not any different and you know it.” He tightened his arms around Cas. “There’s no reason to think we’re ever gonna stop loving each other.”  
Cas’s breath hitched at what he said. He just said he loved Cas. Cas’s eyes widened. “Dean.”  
Dean smiled, meek, his heart on his sleeve. He couldn't remember ever saying he loved someone other than his mom.   
Cas smiled, a tentative one ghosting his lips. He closed the distance between them. They were both smiling which made it harder to kiss. But it didn't matter.   
Footsteps made them pull apart. Dean groaned, they were never alone. But they didn't stop staring at each other. Cas laced their fingers together, his smile lighting up his bright blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for making you wait this long guys!!! I've been dual enrolling, did gishwhes(it was the weirdest but best week of my life!!), started senior year and with senior year comes SAT, college apps, applying for scholarships, grants, financial aid(gotta make that free money) and I have to prepare for auditions into the BFA programs for the colleges I want to go to(fingers crossed for carnegie mellon), and on top of that, senior reps for theatre and monologues and directing scenes and ITS and auditioning for shows and crews and ahh, so much!! But I promise, I won't be off the grid as long as I was because that was evil of me and I am so sorry! This chapter was a bit rushed so i apologize for typos or any sucky things. I love you all, thank you for sticking with me while I churn this story out and just hang in there, there will be more chapters and more gooey lovey dovey sap from our boys!! peace, love and destiel!:)


	21. Chapter 21

**Cas**

Cas opened his eyes, squinting against the sun. A soft breeze was floating in through the window. As his eyes readjusted to the brightness and his senses came back one by one as the sleepiness wore off, he realized there was a strong arm curved around his stomach and a warm body pressed against his. The smell of wood, pine and apples and all things Dean enveloped him. He was still here. 

He put his hands on top of the one on his stomach and interlocked their fingers. He was here. He was real and he wasn't leaving. He let out a gush of air that he had not known he was holding in. He felt at home. 

He was still here. 

And he loved him. 

**Dean**

An insistent buzzing was what woke Dean up. He groaned, tightened his arms around Cas and buried his face in his neck. He didn't want to wake up. 

The buzzing stopped and he nuzzled his nose on Cas’s neck further. 

Then the buzzing started again. 

“Dean”, Cas grumbled. “Make it stop.”

Dean groaned and fished his phone out of his pocket. He answered it without even looking at the caller ID. “Yeah.”

“Dean Winchester!”

Shit. 

“Where are you?”, his mom said, her voice shrill and tight with anger. 

“I’ll be home soon, mom.”

Cas turned around and watched him with his eyebrows furrowed. He almost got lost in how blue and vibrant the sunlight made his eyes looked, how it made his messy head of black hair shine. 

“Where are you?”, his mom asked again, her voice more insistent. 

He worked the pros and cons of actually telling her. 

Pro: he didn't have to lie to his mom. 

Con: he would have to lie to his mom and she would find out anyway. 

Moms always had this distinct third sense where they always knew everything going on. They knew when you were lying. They knew if you skipped school or got in trouble. They knew what you muttered under your breath in your room when you were pissed at them. And they knew you were gay before you even told the ]m you were gay. They were like batman and all the other superheroes rolled into one. 

“Dean?”, his mom said. “Are you at Castiel’s house?”

Dean closed his eyes and sighed. There goes the option of lying. He’d thought up some good ones too like he was at Charlie’s cause she kidnapped him to go to her house and binge Harry Potter that was playing on the ABC Channel( Dean refused to call it Freeform, that name was stupid). Or he was going to say Gabriel kidnapped him to stalk his Kali. Or that he was in the garage and slept in the Impala or something. 

“Yeah, mom.”

His mom sighed a relief. “Well, you could’ve called. Tell Castiel I said hello. Does his uncle know you’re there? I don't want you getting him into trouble Dean.”

Castiel smiled a little at him. Dean stuck his tongue out, slightly surprised that his mom wasn’t mad. Dad always said he married his mom because she was unpredictable and life would never be dull without her. She surprised in more ways than one. 

“Yeah mom”, he lied just this once. She couldn't look at him so maybe he would get away with just this one lie. 

“And come straight home. I expect you here in an hour. Don’t think you’re not in trouble.” Then she hung up. 

“Mom says hi,” Dean said, grinning at Cas. He threw his phone on the bedside table. 

Cas’s brows  furrowed again. “Is your mom mad at you? I heard excessive yelling.”

“Nothing I can’t handle.” He wrapped his arm around Cas’s waist and brought his forehead to his. 

Cas closed his eyes, his face softening. “You should probably go.”

“I have a whole hour before I’m supposed to be back. I want to spend it with you.”

A small smile teased Cas’s lips. 

“Let’s make out.”

Cas didn't need to be told twice. 

**Castiel**

Kissing Dean always felt brand new. And somehow knowing that Dean loved him made it even better. 

He remembered Anna telling him about her first kiss. Her eyes bright and her smile wide. She looked like she was somewhere else, replaying whatever had happened during that kiss. 

“Castiel”, she said. “I think I’m in love.”

He thought it was impossible to be in love after one kiss. But he’s kissing Dean and it feels exactly like the first time and he’s thinking that maybe he’s always been in love with Dean. From that first kiss. 

Dean’s hands slide up and down his back, leaving a trail of warmth. He loves him. 

He loves him as their kissed remain slow and sweet and chaste. He loves him as they become less sweet. He loves him as they become more urgent. He loves him as Dean pulls his shirt off and their chests connects skin to skin. He loves him. He loves him. He loves him. 

The banging on his door makes them both freeze. 

“Castiel! Bring your friend downstairs with you”, Zachariah yells. 

Cas has never had the best of luck. 

**Dean**

The panicked look on Cas’s face as they both put their shirts back on. Dean was expecting that. 

Their hesitant walk down the stairs to meet Zachariah. Dean was expecting that, too. 

Zachariah sitting at the head of the table with a look of utter disgust and anger. He was expecting that as well. 

But Zachariah’s face also being a little smug. Dean was not expecting that. 

John Winchester sitting at the table….

Dean was definitely not expecting that. 

“Dad”, Dean said, distancing himself from Cas as if that would somehow make this whole thing better.

“Son”, his dad grunted, looking at the cup of coffee in his hands like he wanted to kill it. 

Zachariah smiled, his smile looking like how those sharks smile’s look on the internet. “Your father came knocking on my door with the most interesting news, Castiel. Dean Winchester, the boy I told you not to see again, was in this house. And you would think that I would be surprised but...you’ve always been a rebel, doing the Devil’s work, haven’t you boy? I don't understand what your parents were thinking by naming you after an angel, maybe Lucifer would’ve sufficed.”

Castiel’s head hung in shame. Dean resisted the urge to hold his hand. 

“No comment, Castiel?”

“I apologize, Uncle Zachariah.” The words flat and spoken through gritted teeth. 

The urge to hold his hand and just whisk him away from all this grew stronger but he knew it would only make it worse. He shuffled a little closer until his shoulder brushed against Cas’s. His dad raised an eyebrow as his eyes bore at the non existent space between him and Cas. 

“Well, we’ll just have to discuss the repercussions of lying with another man. It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Winchester. Say your goodbyes to Dean, Castiel.”

Dad stood up and shook hands with Zachariah. He felt hot anger coursing through his veins at how willingly Cas let his uncle speak to him like that. 

“You can’t speak to him like that”, Dean spat. 

“Excuse me?”

“Son-”

“No! There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s the best person I’ve ever met. How heartless are you?”

“Son, let’s go now.” His dad grab his arm and Dean shrugged him off. 

Cas looks at him, his face strained. 

“Don’t let him talk to you like that, okay?”

Cas just keeps looking at him, helpless.

Punishment be damned. He takes Cas’s face in his hands and kisses him. 

When he pulls back, he looks Cas straight in the eyes. “I love you.”

Cas stares, eyes a little glassy. He kisses him again. A second time. A third, too. He wants to see how many he can get away with before his dad drags him out by his neck. 

“Goodbye, Dean.” Cas says it so final like. Like this is the last time they’ll ever see each other and it scares him that that might be the case. He’s never felt so helpless in his life. 

“Dean”, his dad says, his voice forceful. “Let’s go.”

But Dean keeps staring at Cas who stares at him back. The vibrant blue has transformed to something less than vibrant. He’s given up. 

“I love you.” Dean says again. 

Cas doesn't say it back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I can't believe I haven't updated this fic in so long! But I'm back. Please comment if you'd like to see me finish this story. And as always, thank you for reading. I appreciate each and every one of you :)


	22. Chapter 22

**_Dean_ **

The whole ride home is awkward. John looks straight at the road instead of at Dean. He hasn’t looked at Dean yet. And the thing is, Dean doesn’t care one bit. He doesn’t care at all. The only thing he cares about is the look on Cas’s face, like he lost all hope. Cas didn’t even kiss him back…

“So what was that?,” John says, his voice gruff and his eyes on the road. His hands are squeezing the steering wheel so tight his knuckles are white. Dean can guess who’s neck his dad wants to wrap his hands around. Bonus points if you guess Dean right away. 

Dean doesn’t know how to answer his dad. He didn't feel safe to be saying a sarcastic retort, already walking on thin ice with his father. Plus, he’s not really sure that John wants Dean to respond anyway. He keeps on talking, not needing Dean’s input. 

“Because it seems to me that you’re in a relationship with...that boy,” John says, answering his own question. “I don’t understand. You said you were friends. How could this happen?”

Dean stayed silent and stared out the window instead, watching the trees blur until all he could see was Dean. He wondered what Cas was doing right this second. He wondered if he was being lectured or sent packing back to where he came from. Terror shot through him at the thought of Cas leaving. Would his uncle really do something as drastic as that?

“God, Dean, you just don’t seem like the son I raised. What happened to you?”

He ignored the pang in his chest when his dad said that. All this time wanting to be the perfect son wasted. His dad probably wanted him to be just like him. A mechanic who had the apple pie life with two and a half kids and a loving wife who cooked dinner every night and kissed him goodbye as he went on to work. Ever since he met Cas, it’s like that type of future set up for him, the future everyone expected of him,  hell, the future he even expected for himself just made him feel suffocated. He wanted more. He didn't want safe. He wanted Cas. Cas, who made everything brighter and better and made life so unpredictable. Cas, who was so odd and fresh and new and so unlike anyone in this godforsaken town. 

He pulled out his phone and sent out a text just to see if he was okay. 

**_Castiel_ **

Zachariah smiled down at Cas once Dean and his father left, the door slamming shut like something final. 

“Well, well, Castiel, what are we going to do with you?,”he said, shaking his head, a sneer on his face. 

Cas stared straight at Zachariah, not flinching at his cold eyes, not caring either way. He already knew his fate. 

“You know, I warned you that if this ever happened again, you would be leaving my home. This is no place where you can commit the level of sin you’ve committed.”

Cas had grown use to this. The constant threats and berating that Zachariah threw at him. There’s always a certain point in time where you grow use to it, so use to it that you grow numb, that the words are just meaningless. He’s pretty sure of what his face would look like now, like a rock’s, unflinching, unfazed despite whatever Zachariah threw his way. 

Zachariah looked at him in disgust like Castiel is the scum under his feet. “Look at you, the sight of you makes me sick. Go to your room. I’ll figure out what to do with you later.”

Cas gets up and walks straight to his room, not sparing a glance at Zachariah. As he walks up the stairs, Zachariah calls out: “And don’t even think of sneaking out and seeing that Winchester boy!”

Cas locks his door and retrieves his laptop. He goes to spotify and pulls up the mixtape Dean made him. He lets Zeppelin’s vocals wash over him as he replays his last kiss with Dean. 

Whole Lotta Love blares through the speakers of his laptop and he turns it up to the highest volume so that his uncle can hear it. He smiles as he remembers Dean lip singing it to him on one of their many bus rides. Dean’s goofy smile. His green eyes alight with laughter and the sun making the freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks stand out. 

His heart beat to the rhythm of  _ Dean, Dean, Dean _ . 

**_Dean_ **

Dean heads straight to his room the minute him and his dad enter the house. He’s just about to go up the stairs before his dad grabs his shoulder. “We need to talk, Dean.”

He sighs and follows his dad to the kitchen where his mom is. Sam is sitting at the dining room table, doing homework. Nerd. He looks up at Dean, a smug grin on his face. Dean can tell he wants to say something slick and lewd and something that will make their Dad more pissed off at Dean before Sam takes a look at his dad’s face and closes his mouth, focusing on his homework again. 

“Morning, boys,” Mary says, her voice trembling. She pulls out a plate covered in tin foil and from the smell of it, Dean can tell it’s his favorite: french toast, bacon and eggs. She eyes John wearily before smiling at Dean. She holds out the plate. “Saved some breakfast for you, honey. I know you must be starving.”

Dean smiles at her before taking a seat across from Sam. She sets the plate down in front of him. “Thanks, mom.”

She smoothes her hand over his hair. John stands there fuming. 

“Mary-”

“Not now, John.” She looks up at him, her eyes stern. “Let him eat. He’s probably tired.”

What was left of Dean’s appetite is gone now as he watches his parents stare each other down. He stuffs french toast and eggs down his throat without really tasting it. It’s amazing, as always, but he can’t enjoy it like he usually would. Not when he feels John’s eyes burning a hole in his back. 

“Okay, let’s wait until he eats,” John pulls a chair and sits down at the head of the table. “Sam, go to your room.”

Sam just sits there, staring down at his pencil but not getting up. 

“Sam, what did I just say?”

“Are you gonna kick Dean out?,” Sam asks, his voice small as he fiddles with his pencil. 

The question takes John back as he stares at Sam with surprise. “No, Sam. Why would I do that?”

Sam shrugs. “I did research on gay kids and I read about what happens when the parents don’t accept them. They kick them out because they don’t love them anymore.” He looks at John, his eyes glassy. “I don’t want Dean to leave.” Sam says it with such conviction. His face is vulnerable and childlike as he stares his dad down, eyes full of fear and for the first time, in a long time, Sam seems like just a kid, a child, who doesn’t want his brother taken away. 

John stares at Sam for a while, his mouth open, not knowing what to say. 

“Your dad loves Dean, honey. Dean won’t be leaving”, Mary says, coming over to Sam and rubbing his shoulders. 

The boy looks back down at his homework. Dean can’t decide between making a bad joke about how Sam must really love him or crying because his brother really fucking loves him. 

John finally finds his voice again and smiles at Sam. “I’m not kicking Dean out, bud.”

“You mad at him?,” Sam says, not looking up from the papers scattered on the table. 

“No”, John says, looking at Dean. “Just disappointed.”

+++

Dean manages to escape the kitchen  and go to his room unscathed. He had to hand it to Sammy, that boy just saved his life, probably. His mom sent them both upstairs so that John and her could talk in private. 

He shuts his door and barely makes it to his bed before he hears the yelling match begin. He counts to ten before Sam bursts into his room, his forehead creased, and crawls into his bed with his textbook in hand. 

“Hey, buddy,” Dean says, wrapping an arm around his brother’s shoulder. “It’ll be alright.”

“How long will this one last?”, Sam asks, looking up at Dean as if he has all the answers. 

Dean shrugs. “Not long.”

“I was scared Dad would make you leave.”

“He wouldn’t.” Dean smiles at his brother with reassurance but if he was honest, he wasn’t so sure himself. John looked at Dean like he was a stranger. The way he looked at him made Dean feel like he was disgusting and should never show his face ever again. 

“I’m glad you’re staying, Dean.”

“Me,too, Sammy. Me,too.”

His brother puts all his attention to the textbook in front of him while Dean puts all his attention to the conversation his mom and dad are having. 

_ I can’t believe you told out son you were disappointed in him.  _

_ I can’t believe you would let him get away with something like this. I can’t believe you knew. _

_ John, Dean is almost an adult and can make his own decisions. _

_ Not while he’s under my roof.  _

_ Castiel is a nice young man. _

_ I don't care if he was an angel. _

_ He’s done nothing wrong. _

_ He’s done everything wrong.  _

_ That’s our son. _

_ It’s not right.  _

Dean can’t take it any longer. He hopped off his bed and headed towards the kitchen. 

“Dean?”, Sam said. 

“Stay here, Sammy”, he said before closing his bedroom door and walking down the stairs. He felt like he was running on pure adrenaline as he entered the kitchen where his parents were still spouting words at each other. 

“John-”, Mary stops when she spots Dean. She quickly puts on a smile and wipes at her eyes. “Hi, honey. Everything okay?”

Dean doesn’t answer. 

John turns around. “Go back to your room, Dean,” he says, his jaw clenching and unclenching. 

“Why?”, Dean says. “You’re talking about me. Shouldn’t I be here, in the room? To here how much I disgust you because I kissed a boy in front of you? Because I liked it, too? Because I told casI loved him too? Is that why you’re disappointed in me, dad?”

John sighs. “Dean-”

“Everything I do isn’t good enough! I try to be the perfect son and you barely acknowledge anything I do! You never celebrate my successes. You only bring attention to when I do wrong by you. So why the hell should I care if you approve of me being with Cas anyway? Cause I don’t care. I’ll be with him anyway. You can yell and scream and hate me and make mom cry but that won’t stop me. I’m done trying to be your perfect son.”

After that, all the bravado seeps out of Dean as his dad stares at him with a surprised face. “I’m gonna go for a ride”, John says, patting his pockets to see if his keys are still there. “I’ll be back. Just going for a ride.”

“Getting blackout drunk because you can’t face your problems?”, Dean says, the adrenaline still pumping through his veins, helping him say all the things he’s wanted to say since forever. “Way to be a good parent there, dad.”

His dad hesitates, his hand on the doorknob before yanking it open and leaving, slamming the door shut. 

Dean wishes he didn't feel like shit once his dad cranks up the engine and leaves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm not abandoning this story I promise! There are about four chapters left and I hope you guys stick along for the ride.


	23. Chapter 23

**_Dean_ **

School is a drag without Cas. 

He wondered when he started to become so dependent on him. When did it happen that in order for Dean to have a good day, Cas had to be apart of it? He watches as Charlie and Gabriel argue about tomato being a fruit or vegetable and he wishes Cas was across from him so that he could watch him react to this stupid argument. He could almost picture Cas interrupting them and saying that tomato was a fruit and Gabe getting all heated up  about it not tasting like a fruit. Cas’s face would be so confused and it would be adorable(though he wouldn’t say that word out loud). 

“Dean? Dean?” Gabe hit him on the arm. 

He blinked. “What?”

“Am I right or am I right?”

Dean rolled his eyes. “You’re wrong.”

Charlie smirked at Gabe. “See? Google and Dean is on my side. Three against one.”

Gabe sulks. “The internet is a scam and Dean just hates agreeing with me.” He stuffs a spoonful of chocolate pudding in his mouth. “None of you will let me be great.”

Charlie pinches his cheeks. “Sore loser”, she says with a frown. 

Gabe sighs and looks over at the empty space beside Dean. “If only Cas were here to take my side.”

Dean snorts. “He wouldn’t take your side because you’re not right.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes and stuffs more chocolate pudding in his mouth. “I need new friends.”

“Where is Cas anyway?,”Charlie says, looking at Dean. 

Dean shrugs. “He wasn’t on the bus this morning.”

“Still radio silence?”, Gabriel asked. 

Dean nodded. Cas hadn’t answered any of his calls or texts since Saturday. 

“Then we have to kidnap him,” Gabriel said, a glint in his eye.

Dean rolled his eyes. 

“Hear me out. He’s probably been locked up in his little tower like a princess waiting for you to save him.”

Charlie squealed. “Operation: Save Cas!”

Gabriel smiled at her. “Exactly, Red. What do you say, Dean?”

Charlie and Gabe looked at him expectantly. Dean rolled his eyes for the second time today and sighed. “I’m in.” The plan didn’t sound half bad. 

**_Castiel_ **

Mondays were the worst. 

They really were the worst as Cas lay in his bed, re-reading SlaughterHouse-Five. He hadn’t given it back to Dean but then again, Dean hadn’t asked for it back. Cas felt like that one Disney princess that was locked in her tower, the one in the movie that he and Dean had watched that one time. 

Cas was grounded until his uncle felt he could decide what to do with him. He wasn’t even allowed to go to  _ school.  _ Cas suspected this was probably because school had Dean and his uncle wanted to keep him away from Dean in any way possible. Including taking his phone. He briefly romanticized the idea of sneaking out but figured that would get him into more trouble. 

**_Dean_ **

Sneaking Cas out in broad daylight seemed like a stupid move so instead they waited until it got dark out. They planned to leave around six. 

Dean, Charlie and Gabriel sat in Dean’s room as they waited. Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire was playing on Dean’s laptop. It was always Dean’s favorite movie because of Cedric Diggory. He was hot. 

Dean kept checking the time on his phone. He sighed. It was only four. 

“Hmm,” Gabriel said, squinting at the screen as the credits rolled, a twizzler dangling from the corner of his mouth. “Cas was kinda right.”

“Right about what?”, Dean said. 

“I can totally see the Harry and Hermione ship.”

Charlie reaches over Dean to punch Gabriel in the shoulder. “Never speak of that again.”

“Alright,” Gabriel said, reaching over to pause the movie. “Let’s go over the plan again.”

“We ride to Cas’s house, I climb into his window and help him escape then we all hang out and get Cas back without getting him into trouble. Foul proof,” Dean says, stealing a twizzler from Gabe. 

“What time is it?,” Charlie says. 

Gabe checks his phone and smiles. “Time to go get our fourth wheel.”

His mom let him take the minivan and they drove to Cas’s house. The plan was to stop a few blocks down and then Dean would walk over to Cas’s. 

Cas’s uncle’s car was in the driveway and it brought back memories of their first kiss. The windows in the living room was closed but Cas’s was wide open. He grabbed some pebbles and started to throw them towards the window. 

**_Castiel_ **

Cas heard pangs against his window and went to go inspect them. He looked out and saw Dean, his hand poised to throw another one. He opened his window, eyes wide. 

Dean held out his arms. “I’ve come to kidnap you!”

“Shh,” he said, opening his window wider. He looked back towards his door, certain his uncle would come busting in at any minute.

Dean climbed up the ladder besides Cas’s window and landed on his feet, face to face with Cas. “Hey.”

Cas smiled. “Dean.”

“Well, I wish we could stay here and stare at each other all day but we have to go. I’m busting you out. Charlie and Gabriel are in the car.”

“But my uncle-”

“He won’t even notice you’re gone.”

Cas looked at him, trying to find a reasonable voice that would tell him not to sneak out and risk the wrath of his uncle. The more he looked at Dean and his grin, the more irrational that voice became. 

Dean raised his eyebrows. “Well?”

Cas put his shoes on and followed Dean down the ladder. He would’ve almost landed on his ass if Dean wasn’t there to catch him by his hand. Once he found his balance, Dean didn’t let go. Cas laced their fingers together. 

They ran to the minivan with their hands swinging between them. Cas felt exhilarated. It almost felt like flying. 

Charlie and Gabriel were leaning on the hood of the minivan, bickering about who knows what. They both looked up as Dean and Cas neared them. 

“Cas!”, Charlie tackled him into a hug, almost making Cas lose balance. “God, I missed you!”He chuckled and squeezed her back just as tight, warmth filling his heart because of the fact that people cared about him and missed him. 

“Get off him, Red. Dean’s looking a little jealous,” Gabriel says, a smirk in place. 

Charlie let him go, her smile as bright as ever. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, Charlie.”

“Hey Cas,” Gabriel said, holding out a pack of Twizzlers. “Welcome home gift.”

Cas smiled. He didn’t think he would ever stop smiling. “Thank you, Gabriel.”

“Aw, you old sap. Come here.” Gabriel wrap his arms around Cas and nuzzled his face into his shoulder. “Glad to have you back.”

“Alright, get off him. We need to leave.” Dean pulled Gabriel away and grabbed Cas’s hand. He flashed a grin at Cas, looking as devastatingly handsome as ever. “Cas, you get the shotgun.”

**_Dean_ **

Dean couldn’t stop looking over at Cas. He was driving with one hand, his other hand clasped with Cas’s. Cas was looking out the window and the wind was blowing through his hair and his eyes were closed and man...Cas was something to look at. 

“Eyes on the road if you value your friend’s lives,” Gabe says, always the one to spoil the mood. “Well, that’s my exit. Make a turn there Dean. I’m tired from all the plotting and such today and I’d like to take a nap.”

Dean looks at Gabriel through the rear view mirror. “What?”

“Me too, Dean. You can drop me off after. I’m stumped.” She shares a grin with Gabe. 

“I thought we were all hanging out.”

“Nah, I’m pretty tired,” Gabe says and Charlie nods in agreement. 

“I think they want to give us alone time,” Cas says, a shy little smile on his lips. 

“Right you are, Cas. Good to have us back. Now Dean take me home. I have a date with Dr. Sexy.”

Dean dropped Gabe off first. He leaned his head in Dean’s window. “Bye, crazy kids. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He winks and leaves. 

Charlie’s house is just a few blocks from Gabes and she hops out the car with a “Have fun, my peasants!”

Dean reverses out of Charlie’s driveway. “So, what do you wanna do, Cas?”

“I don’t know. What do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know.” There really wasn’t much to do in Sioux Falls. 

They continued driving. They were nearing the Roadhouse when Dean smiled over at Cas. “You hungry?”

Cas nodded, a permanent smile on his face. 

When they entered the Roadhouse, Ellen was at the register. “Well, well, well, haven’t seen you in a long time, Winchester.” She came from behind the register to wrap Dean in a hug. “How’s school?”

“Great,” he said, squeezing Cas’s hand. 

Ellen smiled at the sight of their clasped hands. “‘Bout time. How are you, Castiel?”

“I’m well. Thank you, Ellen.”

“Well, you two go pick a table. Burgers and fries, okay for you boys?”

They both nodded. 

“This is like our first date, isn’t it?”, Cas said, shyly. They were sitting across from each other and Dean felt the need to just sit right by him, press the side of his body against Cas’s and hold his hand again. 

Dean laughed. “I guess it is.”

Cas put out his hand on the table, palms up. Dean laced their fingers together and they ate with one hand. 

+++

It was fully dark by the time Cas and Dean walked out of the Roadhouse. The lamp lights were illuminating the streets. The red lights from the Roadhouse’s sign were making Cas’s eyes even more blue. 

Cas sighed. “I don’t wanna go back home just yet.”

“Where do you wanna go?”

He looked up at Dean under his eyelashes. “The park?”

“The park, we’ll go.”

With Cas looking at Dean like that, he’d follow him anywhere. 

**_Castiel_ **

The community park was mostly empty and Cas took a moment to appreciate just how peaceful it was at night. He’d only been here in the daytime, where kids were running around and their parents were watching them with hawk like eyes and fond faces. Couples on picnics. He was particularly fond of a middle aged man who would fly kites. The man looked so at peace with himself and the world, the peace Cas aspired to have. That was the peace that he felt as he walked in the park with Dean’s hand in his. 

“We should do this again, if you’re not grounded for life after this,” Dean said.

“Walk along the park? We definitely should,” Cas agreed. 

“Yeah,” Dean said, swinging their hands between them. “We could totally do this again. And go on dates. A million of them. A trillion of them. Every night if we can. I love spending time with you.”

He smiles up at Dean, his heart bursting. “I would like that, Dean.”

“We could even go to that stupid dance next month.”

“Of course, Dean.”

“Yeah? You would go?”

Cas nods. 

“The theme is something stupid like Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

“An excellent theme.”

He could picture Dean in a tux like in those movies Charlie had him watch. Dean would be breathtaking in one. He pushed aside the doubt and let himself feel the hope of this event happening. He understood that this was a big milestone. Going to a school dance with a significant other. 

Significant other. That’s what he and Dean were. He couldn’t stop smiling tonight if he tried. 

**_Dean_ **

They sat in the minivan, not wanting to leave. Cas didn’t want to go home and neither did he. 

“What time is it?”, Cas asked. 

He checked his watch. “Eight.” He looked over at Cas. “We could spare another hour.”

Cas’s adorable squinty eyes closed as soon as Dean pressed their lips together. This wasn’t like the other times they kissed, where there was always a sort of caution, a fear of going too far in case they got caught. They kissed with abandon. 

Dean lifted Cas over to his side, the steering wheel digging into Cas’s back but he didn't seem to care. It seemed inevitable that the horn would go off as Cas was pressed further and further into the steering wheel. 

They jumped apart and looked at each other before chuckling. 

“Maybe we should move this to the backseat,” Castiel said, his pupils so wide, you could barely see the blue. 

Dean climbed into the back, no questions asked. Cas landed on top of him. 

**_Castiel_ **

He never thought he could feel like this. Like flying. Dean was solid and warm beneath him. He kissed Dean with all he had and Dean gave back with the same intensity. He was breathing through his nose, just so he could keep kissing Dean. He didn’t want their lips to every part. He wished he could stay like this forever. Chest to chest, lips to lips.

Dean’s hands went under his shirt, exploring his bare back. This must be what heaven feels like. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	24. Chapter 24

**_Cas_ **

All the lights were out when they drove up to Cas’s house. Thank God. It would make sneaking back in more easier. He considered going in through the front door but that seemed a little too risky and he was all out of risks tonight. 

He and Dean were sitting in his mom’s minivan, holding hands and feeling whiplashed. What happened back there was magic. He felt untouchable. He felt like he was truly flying. Like he’s body was still sitting here, on the leather seat of the minivan but not at the same time. It’s not that he and Dean had gone far or did anything like sex but they did enough. 

Neither of them were willing for this night to end. Cas felt that someone would have to rip him away from this car. 

“You could always just sleep over at my house. Mom would be cool with it,” Dean said, squeezing Cas’s hand. 

Cas looked over at Dean. His hair in disarray, his green eyes so soft. He couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him again, just a peck.

“I should go,” Cas said, still not getting out of the car and making no move to either. Dean didn’t let go of his hand either. 

“Yeah,” Dean said, looking down, avoiding his eyes. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” Dean said, flashing a smile to prove it. “I just don’t want to say goodbye to you.”

“You never have to say goodbye to me, Dean.” His words were fierce, set in stone. There was no one who could rip him away from Dean. He wouldn’t allow it. 

“Call me?”, Dean said, hopeful. 

“If my uncle ever gives my phone back.”

“Hopefully, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Cas hoped so, too. “Goodbye, Dean.” He opened the door to the minivan then Dean grabbed his hand again to stop him. 

“Goodbye kiss”, Dean said before kissing him one last time. 

Cas pulled back, a dopey smile on his face. 

“See you tomorrow.”

+++

Uncle Zachariah is sitting on his desk when Cas gets into his room. 

“Castiel, Castiel”, he says, standing up, still in his church attire. 

Cas freezes. “I-”

His uncle holds up one finger. “Don’t try to make excuses, I know where you’ve been. From your rumpled clothes, I can tell  _ who  _ you’ve been with.”

Cas looks down at his shoes. “I am sorry,” he mutters. 

“I tried not to be drastic. Reasoned with myself to just ground you, a little isolation would do you well so you’d never repeat that little stunt you did and you go ahead and sneak out of my house to be with that Winchester boy.” He looks at Castiel, a smile forming. “Well, Castiel, since I can’t control you, I have found someone else who will. You may have been unwilling when I introduced this idea to you but now, the choice is out of your hands. I called up Lilith, who contacted her son, Lucifer, and he will be willing to let you join their camp. Be prepared to leave tomorrow morning. Pack your bags, Castiel. Maybe next time, you’ll obey.”

His uncle doesn’t spare a second glance before walking out of the room, slamming the door shut.

He considers his options. 

He has none. 

He couldn’t be here any longer. He wouldn’t have Zachariah send him away. 

Cas dumped out all the necessary school supplies out of his backpack and started to stuff in as many clothes as he could. Then he packed his favorite books and pictures of his family, his real family. Anna and Balthazar and his mother. 

Then he climbed back down the ladder and started to run. His gym teacher would be proud. 

Cas doesn’t realize he’s nearing Dean’s house until he gets there. And of course, he would come here. Where else would he go? He had to say goodbye. He couldn’t leave without seeing Dean one last time. 

**_Dean_ **

Dean couldn’t sleep.

He didn't think he wanted to if it meant that this day would be over. This perfect, perfect day. He couldn’t stop thinking of Cas. Cas with his cheeks flushed. Cas with his bony chest. Cas with his hair, glinting in the moonlight, and messier than ever. Cas, looking wrecked...and it was all because of Dean. He smiled, feeling like a freaking girl because he swore he was going to giggle any minute now and that would be embarrassing. 

His phone buzzed and he picked it up without looking at the caller id. “Cas?”, he answered. 

“Cas?”, Charlie mimicked, giggling. “So, how was it?”

Dean couldn’t help his smile from widening so wide, it could split his face in half. He didn't even mind Charlie mocking him. “It was great. Thank you.”

“Gasp! Dean Winchester thanking me and being grateful? I’ve died from anaphylactic shock.”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever.”

“What did you guys do?”

His mind went back to Cas, towering over him with those eyes…

“We ate, went to the park, then I took him home.”

“That’s all?,” Charlie said, not even trying to hide her disappointment.

Dean chuckled. “I don’t kiss again.”

Charlie squealed. “Winchester!”

He heard pings at his window and looked over. Another rock hit his window. 

“What is that sound?,” Charlie said. 

Dean got up. 

“Dean,” someone whispered. 

He pulled back the curtains. “Cas?”

“Cas?,” Charlie said. “What-”

“I’ll call you back,” Dean said before hanging up. 

He opened his window and leaned out. “Couldn’t stay away, huh?”

Then he saw Cas’s face. He opened his window wider. “Come on up.”

+++

Cas landed flat on his ass and Dean would’ve laughed if Cas didn’t look so devastated. Dean grabbed Cas’s hand and lead his to his bed.They faced each other, crisscrossed on Dean’s bed, both of their hands interlaced together. 

“Cas, what’s up?”

“I have to leave,” Cas said. His eyes were wide and he was hyperventilating.  

“Why? What are you talking about? Cas?”

Cas was looking down at their joined hands, still breathing hard. 

“Cas? What’s wrong?” He was pleading now, begging for Cas to lift his face and meet his eyes. 

“My uncle found out.”

“What?”

Cas met his eyes, tears were forming. “He wants to send me away from you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Two updates back to back! This story is nearing the finish line. Thank you for reading!


	25. Chapter 25

**_Dean_ **

“Maybe he won’t send you away”, he said, trying to convince himself as much as Cas. “Maybe he just wants to scare you and he’s bluffing.”

“No, he said I am leaving tomorrow. He called a conversion camp and everything. I have to leave.”

Dean reached over to wipe the few tears that slid down Cas’s cheeks. “Hey, hey, look at me. Cas, look at me.”

Cas looked up. 

“He’s not sending you away. I won’t let him.”

At that, Cas let out a harsh laugh. “You can’t stop my uncle. You’re just a teenager.”

“I don’t care. He’s not sending you away.”

Cas looked away again, rubbing his eyes with his hands. He stood up, letting go of Dean’s hands. It felt like he was tearing a piece of Dean along with it. “I have to go.”

“You could talk to him. We could call my mom, maybe she can talk to him.”

“That won’t work, Dean.”

Dean stood up, stood face to face with Cas. “We gotta think of something, Cas. I don’t want you to leave. I don’t want you to go. You could stay here.”

Cas looked at Dean, something almost like pity in his eyes. “We both know your father would not allow that, Dean.”

“Then...where are you going?”

“My sister’s college. Anna. She goes to University of Southern California. I’m sure she’ll let me stay in her dorm.”

“In California?”

Cas nodded. 

“But..”Dean almost felt like crying.

“I’m sorry.”

“How are you gonna get to California?”

“Dean-”

“It’s like a day and a half away.”

Cas shrugged. “I can find a way there.”

“But…”

Cas started to sob. 

Dean wrapped his arms around him. They sank to the floor together. 

**_Cas_ **

“I can’t let you go alone,” Dean says, resting his forehead on Cas’s. 

Cas squeezes his hand. “I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’ll go with you,” Dean says. 

Cas looks into his eyes. Dean’s eyes are determined. His voice firm. 

“To California?”

Dean nods. “To California.”

“Your mom and dad won’t let you.”

“Who says they have to know?”

“You’ll get in trouble.”

Dean holds Cas’s face in both his hands, gentle. “I don’t care. The only thing I care about is you.”

**_Dean_ **

They waited until they were sure Dean’s mom and dad were asleep. Dean walked quietly down the steps with Cas in tow. The house was silent and Dean was sure they would get away in time. 

He had everything they needed. Money for gas and food. And the keys to his dad’s Impala. His dad would be pissed but who cares?

“Dean?,” his dad called from the kitchen.

Dean considered making a run for it. 

“Yes, dad?”

“You think I wouldn’t notice the keys to the Impala are missing?”

Cas squeezed his hand. 

“Where are you going?,” his dad said, walking over to them. 

“Dad, I have to help him. I have to go with him.”

“And where is he going?”

“California. To his sister. I can’t let him go alone. You know what his uncle is trying to do.”

“Jesus.” He rubs his chin. “Will his sister be able to take him in?”

“She will,” Cas says. 

Dean’s dad looks at Cas then back at Dean. 

“Call me when you get there,” his dad says with a soft look in his eyes. “You have gas money?”

“Eighty dollars.”

His dad reaches in his pocket for his wallet and hands Dean a bunch of twenties. “Take care of the Impala.”

Dean smiles. “Thank you, Dad.”

His dad nods, fighting a grin. “And take care of your boy, too. Good luck, Cas.”

Dean hugs his dad. 

 

Dean’s dad stands on the porch and watches them drive away. 

 

+++

 

The first hours go by quickly. They make the time go by with songs and Dean almost gets into an accident, distracted by how hot Cas looks with his face tilted into the sun as the wind blew through his hair. He looked like art.

 

+++

 

It’s five hours in when they take their first stop that Dean feels like crying. 

They won’t be on the bus together anymore.

He won’t take rides with him in his dad’s Impala.

He won’t be able to introduce Cas to more new music.

He wouldn’t get to see Cas’s confused but fond face when Dean made a reference that Cas didn’t understand. 

He wouldn’t be there with him at the lunch tables.

He wouldn’t be able to hold his hand anymore.

He wouldn’t be able to kiss him anymore. 

 

Dean pulls off to the parking lot of a store and kisses Cas with all he has. 

 

**_Cas_ **

Dean was quiet as they parked at a rest stop ten hours into the drive. 

“Dean?,” Cas says. 

“Are you hungry? I could get us some food. Are you hungry?”

“We ate an hour ago.”

Dean nods. 

“You’ll call me right?”   
“Of course, Dean.”

Dean’s shoulders began to shake and he let out a full sob. “I don’t think I can go back without you.”

Cas slid over to Dean and took him in his arms. 

He started to cry, too. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

He started to drive extra slow and he wouldn’t let go of Cas’s hand the whole way. Maybe driving slow and taking bathroom breaks every hour would give them more time. He wished he had more time with Cas.

 

**_Cas_ **

 

Just an hour before they reached Anna’s school, Cas lost his virginity in the backseat of the Impala. 

He wouldn’t regret it one bit. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Dean lost his virginity with Cas in the backseat of the Impala and it seemed fitting that he would do it in the car he loved most, like all those high school movies he pretended to hate. 

His first time was supposed to be amazing and leave him feeling happy but it made him feel even more hollow inside. He wished he had more time to do that more. He feared he’d never get to do it with Cas again. 

He blinked back the tears.

 

**_Cas_ **

It was now time to say goodbye to Dean now and Cas didn’t know how to say it. He wasn’t sure if he even wanted to. 

“I’ll walk you to her dorm,” Dean says. 

And Cas nods, feeling the tears already welling in his eyes. 

They’re silent as they walk to Anna’s dorm. 

They hold hands the entire way. Cas wishes they could stay like this forever, connected. 

 

“Cassie!” Anna’s smile is bright as she gives Cas a bear hug. She grabs his cheeks. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Anna.”

“I’m so sorry I let you go away with him. I wish I would’ve just taken you with me.”

“It’s okay,” Cas smiles up at Dean. “I got to meet Dean.”

Anna notices their conjoined hands and smiles up at Dean. “Hi. Did you drive him up here?”

Dean nods. 

“I’m lucky he had you.”

 

Anna lets them have a moment together before Dean has to go. 

“Here’s my number for when you get a new phone. Promise to call me.”

Cas nods, looking down at his feet. “I don’t know how to say goodbye.”

“This isn’t goodbye.”

It felt like it was. 

“Hey,” Dean says, resting his forehead on Cas’s. “It’s gonna be okay. I’ll visit. We’ll talk to each other. I’ll even move to California for college if you’re still up here.”

“I’ll miss you.”

“I love you,” Dean answers. 

Cas smiles. “I love you, too.”

They hold each other, crying. 

 

“I have to go.”

“Goodbye, Dean.”

“Goodbye, Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the second to last chapter before the epilogue. I was honestly crying during this. I'm gonna miss this fic and thank you to everyone who has read so far. One more chapter to go before it ends! Please comment if you enjoyed this chapter or if you want to kill me for ending it this way. As always, thank you for reading!


	26. Chapter 26

**_Dean_ **

 

Dean didn't ride the bus anymore. Charlie gave him rides now. Gabriel got heated up about this and claimed that this idea should’ve came to them all along. He lamented on all the times he has to sit on the hard seats of the bus and wake up an extra thirty minutes. But Dean couldn’t ever regret riding the bus. The bus lead him to Cas and for that, he was grateful. 

But the bus was cursed to him now. It reminded him of Cas and Charlie could sense that. Not that everything else was tainted with Cas either. He saw him everywhere. Remembered him everywhere. At school. In their English Class( they were now reading Romeo and Juliet. The irony). Even certain parts of Dean’s house like the living room where Cas broke his heart by saying he had to leave. 

Cas hadn’t called Dean since he dropped him off to his sister. Cas hadn’t answered his calls either. Dean tried to rationalize it like maybe Cas got a new phone because his uncle still had his and he just didn’t remember Dean’s number. 

He wants to listen to Zeppelin but it would only remind him of Cas’s smile when he heard it for the first time. 

 

**_Cas_ **

 

Cas didn’t have to ride the bus anymore. Anna drove him to school. It was nice. No one bothered him and he even made a friend. Her name was Hester and they ate lunch together. The only downside was that there was no Dean. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

When Dean got back home from driving Cas, his mom hadn’t been upset. He didn’t even get grounded. She hugged him as he cried. 

That night, he lay in his bed and stayed up expecting Cas to call. He didn’t. 

 

**_Cas_ **

 

Anna was livid when he told her about Zachariah. She promised him he would never have to go back. Anna was planning to move off campus this summer. Cas was relieved he didn’t have to go back though a small part was hoping he would have to. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

He tried asking Lisa out again. Maybe his heart wouldn’t heart as much and maybe he could forget all about Cas if he was dating someone new. Someone who was the exact opposite of him in every way. 

She turned him down. 

And okay, he was expecting that one. 

 

**_Cas_ **

 

Balthazar found out what happened. He threatened to kill Uncle Zachariah. But uncle Zachariah hadn’t bothered him, hadn’t even tried to reach out. It was best to just let it be. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

When Dean just couldn’t deal with himself anymore, he walked to Cas’s house where his uncle still lived. He looked up at the window and saw the curtains were closed. No more Cas to watch the birds outside his big window. 

 

**_Cas_ **

 

When Hester asked him out, he declined. 

“I’m seeing someone,” he said even if it wasn’t the truth. He would always be Dean’s. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

When Dean’s parents ask where they should vacation, Dean doesn’t hesitate to ask if they could go to California. 

“California?”

“Yeah. We could go to the beach and Sam could even visit Stanford.”

Mary smiles at him. “Any other reason you’d want to go?”

Dean shrugs. 

“What do you think, John?”

John smirks. “We should go. Maybe we can even visit USC.”

Dean decides he’ll never say he hates his dad again. 

 

**_Cas_ **

 

That summer, Cas got a job. It was in the place he loved most, the bookstore. He liked it there. The manager never got mad if Cas was caught up in reading books instead of inventory and the pay was good. Maybe he could save up for a plane ticket one day. And he would be able to help Anna with the apartment. 

Cas chooses not to read any books by Vonnegut though he could never stay away from Harry Potter. He smiles fondly whenever he pictures Hermione as a spit fire red haired girl instead of the mousy haired know it all. 

 

**_Dean_ **

 

Dean loses the battle over driving to California or taking a plane there. Sam and his mom whine about taking the car and a plane being more practical. Dean talks about how much money they’ll save and Sam, the giant nerd, points out that the plane will cost lies and be more “time efficient”.

He hates his brother. He really does. 

“Plane it is,” his dad says. 

Sam grins at him and sticks out his tongue. 

He may be taller but he’s not more mature at all. Dean rubs Sam’s head extra hard after that. 

He can be immature, as well. 

So that’s how Dean ends up on an airplane, scared for his life. 

“Dean, relax. A plane is much safer than driving there anyway.”

That doesn’t calm Dean down one bit. “I don’t care. This plane weighs millions of pounds and is supposed to be able to stay in the air? It’s unnatural and unsafe.”

“Dean, you’re more likely to get in a car crash.”

“Shut up, Sam,” Dean snaps. He grips the edges of his seat tighter. 

“Maybe you should listen to some music. To calm yourself down.”

“I’ll pass.”

 

Dean wants to kiss the ground when he practically rushes off the plane. 

“Really, Dean?”, Sam sighs when Dean drops to the floor on all fours. 

Mary laughs. 

“We’re driving back,” Dean says. 

 

They pass USC on the way there. Dean looks through the throngs of people for messy black hair and an oversized trench coat as they drive by. His heart sinks a little when he doesn’t see him. 

 

Instead of going to the beach, Sam begs Dean to take him to a bookstore. He would rather do anything else. Sam’s face brightens up when they enter the bookstore and he heads straight to the non-fiction section. 

“They have this great book on Alexander Hamilton, Dean!”

Nerd. 

He goes to where the entertaining books are. What Vonnegut book hasn’t he read yet?

Maybe it was  _ Mother Night _ . 

He almost doesn’t believe it when he sees it. 

Dark, messy hair. He’s not wearing the trench coat but Dean would know him anywhere. He’s stacking books and hasn’t even noticed Dean. 

“Cas?”

Cas turns and Dean is reminded again of how blue his eyes are. How no one could ever compare to him. 

Cas smiles, big and wide. Dean’s heart stutters. 

“Hello, Dean.”

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH It's over!! *sobs in a corner*  
> Thank you so much for everyone who stuck with me during this story. I hope you guys loved this story as much as I loved writing it. As always, thank you for reading and please don't kill me for the ending. Please comment if you'd like me to do time stamps or just to tell me if you loved this story or not.   
> Again, thank you for reading!!


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